Hope Reager is the founder of Grief 2 Hope, a group she facilitates in memory of her son, Justin Cole Mapp who at 19 lost his life at the hands of his roommate.
There are few conversations more difficult than talking with a mom who has lost a child.
Hope was so gracious and genuine that it eased the conversation….I couldn’t help but think that when she was named Hope, they spoke something enduring over her life.
You’re going to hear her heartbreak but you will also hear her joy and sense of humor rise to the surface. Maybe you’ll hear what I heard, the qualities of hope: optimistic about the future, focused on the best in other people, accepting of change, engaged in life.
One of the moments that really got my heart and it was because God’s not always focused on what we’re focused on. He cares for us on such an intimate level that we can miss what He’s doing but I don’t think Hope missed it.
We were talking about guilt associated with her son’s passing in the context of the young man who killed her son pleads self-defense and there is no trial. Hope has not only laid her son to rest but she now has to lay down any need or desire or really, a right for justice to be done for her son. I’m then struck by the fact that a derivative of Justin is Justus, meaning just, fair, righteous. And it would appear that he didn’t get that.
But Hope chooses to rest her heart on the fact that God will take care of that. God’s concern and care is focused on her. Because She feels that God spared her not only from a potential lengthy trial and reliving the details over and over but also when God doesn’t pave the way for a trial He also spares her from dodging any guilt she might have. What I mean by that is, when we’re grieving something there always seems to be a degree of regret or guilt.
A trial would have given Hope a target to focus on but it would have also delayed her need to process one the most painful parts of loosing someone and that is not being able to have changed the outcome. Just like Hope said, “Moms fix everything. They make everything better. That’s what we do.”
She has to face all the questions and running scenarios through in her mind and what could she have done differently. She has to process it and interestingly it’s part of what is making her so mad at God. It’s like He doesn’t let her shy away from her anger at Him. He wants to engage her, draw her into a conversation, inviting her to pour it out to Him.
Hope believes that she was given this pain for purpose and positivity. In her Grief2Hope groups, she provides kindness and support for all types of grief and her goal is to provide a safe place of peace, hope, and support.
In the 7 week series she uses the acronym GRIEF to help with the grieving process. If you’re listening prior to January 2022, the newest 7 week series of the year will start on January 6th. Check her out at grief2hope.com. If I remember correctly she said you don’t have to come to all 7 Zoom meetings, you can drop in when you can. You’ll be in a safe space where you are not alone in your grief.
Real quick before we get started….she refers to being at Tim Horton’s, that is a coffee/donut shop.
| Get connected: Hope: https://www.facebook.com/hope.day.3975 Grief2Hope https://www.facebook.com/Grief2Hope2020 Grief2Hope https://www.instagram.com/grief2hope2020/ Hope http://linkedin.com/in/hope-reger-05362984 Grief2Hope https://www.linkedin.com/company/grief-2-hope |
Bio:
Hope Reger lives in Delaware, Ohio with her husband Mike, She has two sons Brian, 31 and Justin, forever 19 and two amazing grand-daughters, Haylynn and Addi. Hope’s “day job” is a talent coordinator with a major financial institution for the past 25 years. Hope believes her purpose in life was given to her after the traumatic loss of her son to murder. That purpose is to provide positivity, inspiration, and hope to others through her Grief 2 Hope program she created in honor of her son. Grief 2 Hope is a virtual peer grief support group that allows grievers a safe space to be their authentic self with support of others who understand and know exactly what they are going through. One of Hope’s quotes she likes to ends each session with is ” Grief changes your entire world, it can also inspire you to change the world”.
Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/c5bbe4654b4b4ad78724c44f1d52b0fc/edit_v2
