Finding God in Our Pain

Summary/Outline:
*Introduction and Context:
The focus is on Denise Clanin’s personal experience with the loss of her brother, Garrett, who was diagnosed with a rare disorder called NF2
*Personal Recollections:
Denise shares fond memories of her brother, highlighting his love for music and his contagious sense of humor. She also discusses his academic skills and intelligence.
*Brother’s Diagnosis and Impact:
Garrett was diagnosed with NF2 at 11, which led to the loss of certain abilities over time. Denise reflects on how this condition affected her family dynamics and her own feelings of being secondary in focus.
*Coping with Challenges:
Denise talks about the gradual changes in family dynamics and her personal journey through grief. She discusses the importance of giving oneself grace and the role of faith in navigating these challenges.
*Faith and Identity:
The conversation touches on the role of faith in dealing with suffering and the challenges of maintaining one’s identity amidst family and personal upheaval. Denise emphasizes the importance of keeping one’s identity rooted in God.
*Writing as a Path to Healing:
Denise shares how writing her book, “Among the Stars,” helped her process grief and pay homage to her brother. The book serves as a medium to explore themes of hope and personal growth.
*Family and Community Support:
The importance of community support and family connections is highlighted, especially through shared experiences like charity events.
*Future Aspirations:
Denise discusses her plans for future writing projects and how she wants to continue exploring themes of identity and personal growth.
*Overall Message:
The conversation ends with a message of hope. Denise encourages finding hope and blessings even in difficult times and emphasizes the significance of prayer and faith in providing strength and direction.

Podcast Intro:
My guest is Denise Clanin, a wife, mom and author. She and I connected because of her willingness to share her personal story about losing her brother, Garrett to a rare mutation known as NF2. This disorder caused tumors to grow throughout his body, and that resulted in degrees of loosing his quality of life such as his ability to speak and hear; two of the major ways we communicate! I can’t even fathom that slow separation from your loved ones. At the time of the diagnosis Denise was 9 and Garrett 11. At the time of Garrett’s passing he was 29.

My conversation with Denise weaved together loss, resilience, and faith and the fact that grief can be very transformative in powerful ways. Faith was the cornerstone for Denise as she navigated what it meant to have a sibling who was experiencing a gradual decline in health and in quality of life.

We talked about how she felt as her parents naturally gravitated to Garrett’s ever increasing dependency. I was curious about that because at 9 years old she’s in elementary school, and then through middle and high school and into college; crucial years for a young girl, a young woman. As we talked, I felt I heard in her voice (and the way she shared about this part of the journey) healing and acceptance saturated with grace.

With the ever morphing process of the family dynamic we talked about identity and how that is impacted, and how everything about our life is based on identity and so what do we do when things are shifted and we lose titles, responsibilities, relationships? Denise talked about God’s ability to use the tragedy of life for transformation in us and how He moves us into a greater purpose using the pain of life.

We talked about the book she authored, Among the Stars and how she blended parts of her life to create a family friendly read that has an uplifting message for the heart and the mind. We folded into the conversation, how therapeutic writing/journaling can be in the grief process. And she’s started on her next book that will develop one of the characters found in the first book. I love a series where you can engage in more than one book.

Listen in and I hope you’ll be encouraged by Denise’s desire to share her experience into the complexities of grief, the importance of community, and the enduring power of hope, faith, and love.

Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Sherrie Pilk

Related topics (podcast and/or blog):
Sara Salazar – Autoimmune Disease, Pulmonary Fibrosis and Faith: https://alifeofthrive.com/2021/09/01/autoimmune-disease/
Sherrie Pilkington – Here’s How Psalm 23 Showed Me God’s Faithfulness: https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/08/17/heres-how-psalm-23-showed-me-gods-faithfulness/
Genetic Testing and Prophylactic Mastectomy, with Erin Simon: https://alifeofthrive.com/2023/02/01/genetic-testing-and-prophylactic-mastectomy-with-erin-simeone/

Connect with Denise:
FB: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100092102171844

Bio:
Denise had always dreamed of writing her book. As a child, she loved to write stories with memorable characters and positive themes. She carried this passion for writing into her adolescence and early adulthood, hoping to publish one of her stories someday. However, as with any story plot, there were obstacles to reaching this goal. At Pepperdine University, she began to study accounting, a degree that required intense concentration and countless hours of studying and memorization. In addition, it was around that time when her older brother’s chronic medical condition took a turn for the worse – leaving him in almost constant pain and removing his ability to hear, speak, and see well. His parents transitioned into full-time caregivers who sacrificed their time and energy so that their son could live another day.

For Denise, this devastating life change meant taking a step back from her hobbies, instead focusing on her family and establishing herself in her career. Sadly, her brother succumbed to the complications of his condition five years after her college graduation. She appreciated the precious time she had with him and the positive impact he left behind. Although she continued her accounting profession after his passing, she knew the corporate world wasn’t where she wanted to remain.

A few years later, Denise and her husband moved from sunny San Diego to the forested terrain of Post Falls, Idaho, to plant their roots – buying their first home and expanding their family. That was when she finally found the inspiration to pen her first book, “Among the Stars” – originally an idea she wrote for her creative writing class in college. From there, she continued to push forward despite a decade-long writing hiatus and several bouts of writer’s block. She is thankful that God has provided her with the words to share with others through her book, touching on the themes of forgiveness, redemption, and hope – while also paying homage to the notable people in her life, including those who have passed. She hopes this tale of first love, friendship, and family connection will bring joy and encouragement to those who need it.