My precious friend, Alicia Hodges sat down with me to talk about the death of her son, Zane Hodges who was 30 at the time of his passing. We’ve had many of these conversations over the last 3 years. Our time together is full of exploring God in this context of loss and crying.
I want to back up just a little bit. Allow me to layout my day before I learned we had lost Zane. I had recently started a 7am Tuesday morning prayer time with a sweet mom of 10. We had to start early because of the demands on her day.
On the morning of June 16th 2020, we met and this young momma shared an amazing miracle that she and her family experienced that past weekend. True to the nature of a miracle something horrific presents itself and despite everything saying it should have a tragic ending it turns out completely different and their (then) 4 year old son is perfectly fine with no concerns left about his physical condition or motor skills etc. I can testify to the fact that he is indeed complete, whole, typical little boy. I left our short visit in awe of how God shows Himself faithful.
On that same day, twelve hours later I saw my phone ringing with a number I did not recognize so I ignored it. What immediately followed was a text and the caller shared her name saying she was a good friend of Alicias
Alicia, my sweet friend and devoted mx (motocross) mom whose family we had grown close to through many years of traveling together cheering our sons on, praying for their safety and nursing them when they were injured. We shared in tragedy and triumph, good and bad, highs and lows.
I snatched up the phone and dialed the number back. I knew in my spirit I didn’t want to hear what she had to say. But of course when someone you love is in need you’re propelled to run toward them.
As the woman spoke on behalf of Alicia my heart shattered into a million pieces. It would seem that God did not show Himself faithful for her baby boy. Yes, Zane was 30 but do our children ever stop being our babies?
These two women, my young mom of 10 and Alicia wear many hats in order to fulfill all the roles they are responsible for and they both value that of wife and mother above all the titles they’re known by. They are passionate about God and they each serve Him with their whole heart.
Two moms serving the same God whom they profess to be good, kind, loving and protective. One with a beautiful story of restoration and protection and the other laid her son to rest.
Neither mom did anything wrong. Neither mom was more perfect than the other, more godly and more favored and loved by God.
How do we make sense of the good God who, at times seems cruel and at the very least does not treat us fair or equal. One minute He’s saving the day and the next it seems He’s disinterested, nowhere to be found.
I’m not going to pretend I have the answers to understand what is clearly beyond my ability to grasp or process. A deep wisdom beyond my limited understanding holds the answers to the deepest cry of a shattered heart.
What I can do though is share personal, first hand stories that give real life examples of how God cares for us in the darkest of dark valleys and that’s what Alicia does in this episode.
We discuss the sovereignty of God, His authority over life and death and why He is trustworthy with our pain. We touch on the stigma of drug abuse and whether or not it’s a choice. Especially when it’s introduced to a young person because of an injury. Maybe it’s a choice early on but at some point the chemical change in the brain takes over and that’s the reality of the fight, not a simple choice to use or not use.
She briefly talks about what she refers to as “growth edges” and how, not wanting to be stuck in her grief, caused her to step out in faith to new territory in her spiritual growth and personal life.
At one point I ask her a question that I like to ask my guests because I think it’s one of the major ways Satan attempts to separate us from God, His truth, healing, and redemption.
I asked her, in what ways did Satan try to drive a wedge between her and God. Her answer gave me a different perspective. One I hadn’t thought about. Satan was set on destroying relationship but since He couldn’t shake Alicia’s connection with God he came after her personal relationships.
Near the end of our conversation I asked her about Psalm 23, specifically how did God prepare a table for you in the presence of your enemy and what she shared gave revelation of what God did and made it clear that what He did in that situation can be applied to everyday life.
Where is the good God we profess when things become to much to bear? Listen in and hear Alicia’s testimony on how to find God in our pain.
Connect with Alicia:
Email: skinsoreal@gmail.com
IG: @aliciahodges7
FB: Alicia Williams Hodges
Biz Website: aliciahodges.neora.com
Bio:
My name is Alicia Williams Hodges and I am originally from Roanoke, VA. I have been married 37 years and we live right outside Roanoke on Smith Mountain Lake. I have two beautiful children and a 2 year old granddaughter.
I am a Founding Member with Neora, a Holistic Anti-Aging Beauty and Wellness Company and celebrated my 11th year in May of 2023. Previously, I had been a stay at home mom for 20 years and my days were filled with ministry, non-profit work and raising my kids.
Life happened in “08 and Neora found me! I am a solution provider for your aging needs and concerns. I am very passionate about helping people look, feel and live their BEST life NOW, while building a legacy of faith, hope, love and wealth for families and future generations.
Although I have an international business, I love networking, connecting and helping people build their businesses.
Want more encouragement on this topic? Listen to this episode with guest Carole Sluski, a mom who lost her daughter: https://alifeofthrive.com/2023/03/15/surviving-grief-and-the-death-of-her-daughter-with-carol/
