(Adaptive Not Faulty is a slightly revised version of the original post, Tattered and Torn – February 2021 https://alifeofthrive.com/2018/02/19/tattered-and-torn/?preview_id=302&preview_nonce=5e38335306&preview=true&_thumbnail_id=440)
The world pulls, tugs and tears at us every day. It feeds us various belief and value systems based on ever-changing standards and this can leave your heart tattered. In the majority of cases, it’s not that the people who have imprinted your heart are horrible people, they handed you what had been handed to them so it’s important that we remember our skillset is adaptive not faulty. This is good news because it says we adjust to our surroundings. In short, we can learn skills that are productive and satisfying.
With various influences and input from those around us we learn a set of skills that are supposed to prepare us for a successful adulthood. If those around us are healthy, we get healthy instruction. If however, those around us have never taken the time to examine their skill set or their lack of, then we can only get from them what they are capable of providing. The same goes for us with regard to how we influence those around us.
Skills acquired during childhood are adaptive and may not necessarily serve us as adults. I for one learned certain survival skills that did not equip me for life and relationships outside my home. My acquired survival skills served me well to navigate my unstable childhood surroundings, but they did not equip me for healthy adult relationships beyond those walls. I had a big learning curve and as time passed, I yearned for rewrites and do overs.
Are you in need of a rewrite? Are there adaptive skills that need to be rewritten or dark places that could use a breath of new life? If so, let’s take the yearnings of your heart and hold them up and see what God has to say about who you are to Him. We can use the truth of His heart to cover over our past and redefine our future. We can move from adaptive and faulty to purposeful and healthy.
They say it takes 21 days to replace a habit so for the next 21 days, be purposeful in soaking in His truths. In the self-reflection link below I’m going to share a scripture with you that I want you to post in places where you’ll see it often. Put it on pretty paper and put it in line of sight in places you’ll be often.
Turn the Word over in your heart. Speak the truth out loud when you’re tempted to fall into an old habit or adaptive behavior. Talk to God about them. Ask Him to show you how His word is true and how to use this knowledge in your every day life.
Replace what you currently believe about yourself with who Christ says you are and who He created you to be. God has a plan for you but so does Satan.
No matter what Satan throws at you, even if it has been a previous truth for you, use God’s word as a beacon to expose Satan’s lies. Speak life, which is synonymous with truth, into your situation, temptation, old adaptive behavior or false belief. Find solid counseling who can support you in your pursuit of apply God’s word to your life. The power found in God’s words will send Satan running any time he tries to attack your heart.
The best is yet to come sweet one! It all starts with allowing Christ to write His love letter upon your heart with the beauty of His love for you.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
Self-Reflection
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take the truths you discover about yourself and hold them up to the Light to evaluate them against who God says you are.
What areas of your life need a do over or a fresh start? Maybe you keep finding yourself in the same situation over and over again. Are you experiencing the same reaction from people in regard to a specific habit/trait/action?
What are some ways you can learn new skills? (i.e. find a mentor, go to counseling, check out a self-help book in the library, read Proverbs in the Bible)
Pick 1 habit you want to change. What healthy habit will you replace it with for the next 21 days. This should include using scripture to replace your current way of thinking about yourself or the harmful habit.
In what safe, healthy way will you reward yourself when you have successfully replaced the harmful habit with a new safe, healthy one?
Take Action
Use God’s word to take control over traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts, take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises found in His word.
Print, then cut and carry this Scripture with you and/or post it in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is what God’s word says about His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:
“I am not writing these things to shame you, but to warn you as my beloved children.” 1 Corinthians 4:14 (NASB)
Read this scripture out loud, memorize it and apply it when you need to be reminded that God does not shame us and that He is willing and able to help us rewrite the lies of our enemy.
Translation: God the Father calls me His child. When people don’t recognize my worth, it is because they don’t know the One who has spoken for me and calls me His daughter.
LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
