Image in the Mirror

“Then he said to them, ‘So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”—Matthew 22:21 (NIV)

There can be great benefits to conferences. A couple of months ago I listened to a woman who challenged the audience to create morning habits that would set the tone for our day. She shared with us that her morning ritual started before she lifted her head off the pillow. As she listed each purposeful action, I could see how the focused intention set the pace and attitude for the day ahead, because the real battle in every day and in any challenge is our thought life!

Her steps to start each day were encouraging, but there was one thing she did after she got out of bed that gave me the biggest challenge. Once she got up, she’d go to the mirror, look herself in the eyes, and say, “I love you.”

She is a beautiful woman, and I am absolutely confident that, when she first looks in the mirror, she is a beauty to behold. But my initial thought about having to look directly into my eyes after having drooled my way through eight hours was scary at best.

The vision I present first thing in the morning more than likely has Jesus concerned about how I’m going to get it together for the day. At the very least, my breath would roll back off that mirror with the potential to grieve the Holy Spirit. But I’m a girl who’s in transition, so I took a shot at it despite my hesitation.

Taking focused attention of my familiar features, the flaws and signs of aging were not as daunting as I had imagined. What really shocked me was when I discovered how hard it was to look myself in the eyes and say, “I love you.”

It felt weird and made me uncomfortable. I genuinely did not like it. Leaning forward on the vanity, closer to the mirror, I looked directly into my eyes. I couldn’t really hold the gaze, and my “I love you” was half-hearted.

I leaned back into my seat. What just happened? Why in the world is this so hard?

As I looked at myself from a comfortable distance, I was surprised to find a judgmental attitude. I was withholding my approval, my affection.

I hesitated in my “I love you” because no one knows better than I just how far from the standard I really am. I choked on “I love you” because I knew those eyes. Locking a gaze with myself in that mirror left me nowhere else to turn. I couldn’t deny my less-than-stellar moments, failures, and bad decisions.

I knew I was forgiven for those things. I knew God had removed them from me as far as the east is from the west and would never use them against me. But it was clear that understanding hadn’t stopped me from judging myself.

I have enough life under my belt that I can quickly recall my regrets, but, in this half-century-plus mark, I’ve also come to know the extravagant grace of God. It disappoints me that my first response is to condemn myself rather than allow myself the grace God has been extending to me all my life (especially in the past 25 years in which I’ve come to know Him better).

I wasn’t simply withholding my affection from myself; more importantly, I was withholding God’s affection. I was saying my standard of forgiveness is the right one.

How could it be that I would effortlessly slide back into a fear-based mindset? One look in the mirror and I misrepresent the God who has never left me or failed me. And I do this with a heart that knows Him and experiences Him on a daily basis.

I had to know, “God, what just happened?” I got no particular response, no images, no thoughts other than my own. So, I let it lie.

A couple of weeks later, our church hosted a visiting pastor who preached a message on the distinction between a son’s way of thinking and an orphan’s way of thinking. He shared many opposing mindsets, but one spoke directly to me: An orphan is fear based and a son/daughter is faith based.

Funny thing is, I know because of God I’m spoken for, chosen, and set free. When faced with that fear, why did I collapse like a milk-soaked cookie? Why didn’t I immediately take those thoughts captive to who God says I am?

When eye to eye with my image in the mirror, my reaction was fear based. Putting myself in a position of judgment speaks of a spirit that fears being punished. As a daughter of God, I’m not condemned but rather forgiven, restored, and made new. I’m not under the law; I’m under grace. God’s extravagant grace. A grace that doesn’t make sense to a carnal (worldly way of thinking) mind.

The pastor went on to share that the orphan spirit was the biggest curse on the earth today. It’s no wonder. Whenever God says something’s good, Satan comes in to distort and destroy it. Satan wants us to define things from the point of view that uses us as the reference point on how we should or should not do something.

I had used a self-referencing standard of right and wrong to condemn myself. If I had used God’s standard (the One who is the reference point) when I looked in the mirror, I would have seen the One whose perfect sacrifice washes away my sins. I would have seen the One whose image I am made in. I would have seen Jesus.

NOW LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!

Self-Reflection

These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.

This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take the truths you discover about yourself and hold them up to the Light to evaluate them against who God says you are.

• Do you judge yourself? If so, in what way?
• What would you say is your biggest area of sin?
• Have you asked God to forgive you? 
• If not, is fear stopping you?
• If yes, describe the fear.
• Are you able to accept God’s forgiveness? If not, why?
• Do you believe God forgives and never brings it against you again? Explain.
• What type of Father would you describe God as? Describe Him.Does He share any similarities with your earthly Father? If yes, which ones?
• Do you feel forgiveness is helpful to being set free from fear? Explain.

Talk to God about your answers. Give Him praise, ask Him questions and then listen for His gentle response.

Take Action

Use God’s word to take control over the traumas in your life.  Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises in His word.

Here is a scripture for you to print, cut and carry with you and/or post in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!

“…Then he said to them, ‘So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.’” Matthew 22:21 (NIV)

When you read God’s Word, say to yourself:  Give your taxes to your president because his image is on your money, but give yourself to God because that’s whose image is on you.