“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving,considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” John 3:17 NIV
I’ve been spending the last few months trying to figure out who I am without my husband. We did 34 years of life together so all my adult firsts were with him. Marriage, buying a house, having babies, a business. Who am I now?
My husband was a man whose personality filled a room. You heard his laughter before you’d even see him and people loved being around him. Humor followed him everywhere in every situation. He turned serious things into a lighter issue by finding a way to make you laugh and ease the tension.
When he left, his larger-than-life personality went with him. The culture he created followed suit, leaving a void and a deafening silence.
Now I’m here, grappling with a clear definition that will give shape to who I am without him. We had separate hobbies and friends, but 34 years—day in and day out—creates a meshing together. An unseen bond where you’re constantly taking each other into your thought process, decision making, and goals. It’s a way of thinking that automatically happens.
I read something the other day about making a personal Mission Statement. I like that, so I’m working on exactly what that means for me. I’d love for you to join me, so I’ll share what I’ve learned so far.
One of the ways I’m giving a new shape to who I am is to explore various ways of defining my unique way of looking at life. When I came across the info for a mission statement I thought it another opportunity to define things about myself.
I first found some mission statements for popular businesses: Life is Good: To spread the power of optimism. TED: Spread Ideas. JetBlue: To inspire humanity both in the air and on the ground. Honest Tea: To create and promote great-tasting, healthy, organic beverages.
Businesses use mission statements to give a strong focus to their overall goal. It helps employees get on board and understand the heart of their employer. I used to work for a Fortune 500 company, and I heard this question more than once, “Will that help us continue to sell our products for $1?”
A personal mission statement, we’ll call it PMS (without the headache or cramping), can do several things for you. It will set boundaries but not to restrict you. Equip you to make better decisions with less stress. Give you a level of freedom you didn’t even know was available.
A PMS gives clarity to what you are about. It can reveal what moral code you operate by, the things and causes you are most passionate about, and the people who are most important to you.
It can be as simple as these examples:
Give my family ___________ by ______ and ________.
To inspire positive change through _______ and _______.
To create opportunities for/by ____________.
I’m currently at a one-line mission statement, but I want to develop it more. My mission statement is “To let every heart know that God is not mad at them.” I’m even working on a t-shirt that professes this message for all to see.
With a PMS, you can get even more detailed by laying out your moral code or indicate your value system simply by what you share. If you say, “I’m going to encourage, engage, and equip others to learn the word of God and walk in His ways by giving a Bible to every person I meet.” Then you’ve exposed a belief system people will expect of you.
If you say, “It is my mission to create safe boating opportunities for youth by providing equipment and instruction.” This tells young people they can expect to learn boating skills with safety as the main focus.
Here are some jumping off points to get you thinking about a more detailed PMS:
To encourage, engage and equip others to___________ and _________ by ________ and by ________________.
To positively impact __________________ in order to ________________ by doing _________________.
When faced with decisions, my PMS is the perfect way to determine what my answer will be. For example, because my statement is to express the love of God, my decisions need to support that. The opportunity or the conditions must support my ability to reflect the heart of God in truth and love.
I’ll be honest and say that my mission statement is a little tough in that I’m human and I have bad days, miss opportunities, or just feel too drained to help someone else. I don’t always reflect the heart of God like I should. At times, I’m far from what God’s love really looks like. But I do know what it feels like not to be loved and because the love of God is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced, I want to share that.
My goal with having my own, more developed statement is to help define my yes and my no. Ideally, it will provide more freedom because I don’t feel the pressure to say yes, and I can identify when to say no. Because of that I can run my own schedule more effectively, manage my own time more efficiently.
As I give a more defined shape to who I am, try to figure out where God wants to use me most, and where I’m most effective with regard to His plan for me, a PMS can only help in the journey. I expect it to evolve and change as I mature and find more clarity, but for now it feels like a great tool to use.
I’m enjoying the process of discovery in this new phase of life mainly because I know God is good. Whatever I discover, fail at, or succeed brilliantly at, He remains unchanging. His promises are solid. He’s with me until my last breath here and my next breath with Him in eternity.
NOW LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
Self-Reflection
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take the truths you discover about yourself and hold them up to the Light to evaluate them against who God says you are.
- Do you struggle with who you are, or what you’re suppose to be doing with your life?
- Can you put that struggle into words? If so, give a free flow to what you’re trying to give shape to.
- Do you have trouble knowing when to say yes or no? Explain.
- What are some of the things you are passionate about?
- How are you engaging, supporting or experiencing those passions?
- Do you feel there is a lack of balance in your life? If so, how?
- What are some changes you can make to put more balance in your life?
Talk to God about your answers. Give Him praise, ask Him questions and then listen for His gentle response.
Take Action
Use God’s word to take control over the traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises in His word.
Here is a scripture for you to print, cut and carry with you and/or post in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving,considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” John 3:17 NIV
When you read God’s word say to yourself: When I’m trying to figure me out or figure life out, I should remember to seek out God’s wisdom. His wisdom from heaven is the most pure and selfless knowledge there is. It builds up, gives value, creates worth, bears fruit in my life. It respects and considers me and He shows no favor to any one person but shows us all He’s impartial and sincere.
