“And no creature is hidden from His sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:13 (ESV)
The point at which relationships succeed is the same point at which relationships will fail, and the reason is super simple, or is it? Transparency. Without it, we will never establish a relationship that can endure the trails of everyday life. On the flip side, relationship will end very quickly if we are no longer transparent but secretive and withdrawn. Relationship may never get a chance to set roots if we portray to be someone we think other people want us to be.
Without a doubt there are situations (and certain people) where we must keep the conversation surface level. However, the people we want to include in our inner circles are the ones in whom we must invest our time and energy. That means we must be transparent about who we are. From acquaintance to inner circle to spouse, these relationships all require various levels of transparency. The more authentic and vulnerable we are, the closer the relationship becomes.
I remember one time in my almost-32 years of marriage when my husband and I were not seeing eye to eye, and I was complaining to God about all I had done to change things. I was whining and listing the things I had done, how those things that had not been received, and how nothing changed despite my efforts. Then, gentle and sweet in my spirit, I heard, “Yes, My daughter, but are you ready to do it My way?”
My first response was that I had been doing it His way. But as I laid down my agenda and leaned into His quiet Spirit, I learned I had not. In short, God showed me where I was trying to be the leader in the family. Because I wasn’t happy with my husband’s timing or the way he was doing things, at some point I decided I’d have to take control and direct this thing. I picked up a burden that was not mine and a role that was not intended for me to have. Until I got honest about my part in the problem, I did not see any signs of things getting better.
I recall the Bible example of Jacob. Remember when God asked Jacob, “What is your name?” It wasn’t as if He didn’t know Jacob’s name. No, He was ready to give Jacob a dramatic new beginning and needed him to be truthful. The last time Jacob was asked his name, he lied and told his blind father that he was Esau, his brother.
Relationship is a living, breathing, multi-faceted process, which takes many twists and turns as it matures into lifelong stability, comfort, and vulnerability.
We will always strive to be in relationship because that’s why we were created. God put the desire for relationship in our DNA, and His heart is for us to be in relationship with Him. He is the Bridegroom, and He looks at us as His Bride. Every morning when you wake, He has prepared a banquet room for you to experience. From simple things like a cup of coffee to providing a major breakthrough, healing, or provision, He wants to draw us close to grow in relationship.
God is constantly calling us into transparency with Him. He asks us questions that will allow us to draw close to His heart.
What is your area of need today? What question is God asking you to answer with transparency?
No matter how tough the question is or if you’re not quite sure of the answer, turn your face fully toward Him and talk with Him honestly about your heart condition. Ask Him to show you if there are any places in which you have believed a lie over His truth.
He wants to give us His whole heart, and He wants ours in return. Still, He can only get close if we stop keeping Him at arm’s length. It’s not like He doesn’t know what’s keeping us from letting Him draw near, but He’ll never bully us to answer His questions. He’s extremely patient. As a parent, I am completely confident that He’d love to see us answer sooner rather than later, so we can enjoy a new level of understanding His heart for us.
God Himself is your Bridegroom, and He’s calling you into transparency with Him. He wants to reveal Himself to you, so you will know exactly why He’s worth giving your whole heart to. He longs to win you over with His deep love, affection, and total commitment.
NOW LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
Self-reflection
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take the truths you discover about yourself and hold them up to the Light to evaluate them against who God says you are.
- Do you recognize the levels of transparency that are applied to the different levels of relationship? (ie acquaintance, co-worker, family, friend, spouse)
- What do you think it looks like when we do transparency well?
- What do you think it looks like to struggle with being transparent?
- How well do you do transparency? If you do it well, what have been some rewards?
- If you struggle with being transparent why do you think that is? (ie unclear boundaries, unequipped emotionally, need a stronger skill set)
- When you think about your area of need, is God asking you to answer a question with transparency? If so, what is the question He has for you?
- Taking God’s question into consideration, spend some time talking with God about it and then write down what you’ve discovered. Have you arrived at a transparent answer for Him?
- How well do you do transparency? If you do it well, what have been some rewards?
- If you struggle with being transparent why do you think that is? (ie unclear boundaries, unequipped emotionally, need a stronger skill set)
- When you think about your area of need, is God asking you to answer a question with transparency? If so, what is that question?
- Taking God’s question into consideration, spend some time talking with God about it and then write down what you’ve discovered. Have you arrived at a transparent answer for Him?
Use God’s word to take control over traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts, take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises found in His word.
Print, then cut and carry this Scripture with you and/or post it in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is what God’s word says to encourage you and to give you an example of His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:
And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:13 (ESV)
When you read God’s Word say to yourself: There is no need for me to try and hide anything from God. He sees and knows everything about me. When I choose to be honest and transparent I grow in relationship with Him because He reveals His heart to me when I let Him into mine.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
