“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)
How are you doing on your new year’s resolution(s) or goal(s)? Any success? At the beginning of this year I shared that I don’t do resolutions anymore, but I set goals instead. Since last year was a hazy blur, I had no goals. I’ve spent my time trying to figure out who I am apart from my husband. Any goals set prior to losing him were ones set for the two of us, not just me. I think I might be ready to put some habits and disciplines back in place.
All last year I questioned everything. This year, as I try to put structure back into my life, I’ve re-evaluated things I once did and pondered if/why I need to do them differently. So, I naturally wondered why I made the shift from resolutions to goals and if there really is a difference.
Maybe I’m just looking at resolutions all wrong. I feel like resolutions set me up for failure. On January 1, I’d come out of the gate with a strong will to not do this or not do that. I’d vow to not overeat at a meal, to stop when satisfied versus when I was full. Exercise was going to be the friend I loved to spend time with. I would resolve to budget my money and take the time to keep things in order. Housecleaning was not going to bully me this year; things would be orderly and in place.
The reality was that my willpower wasn’t enough to get me through the first month. To be honest, I would barely make it to the end of January. I’d roll over, look at the clock, and think, “Five more minutes” … until the allotted exercise time was gone. I’d eat more than I needed, because I responded to the taste rather than my body’s natural ability to indicate when I’d had enough. Laundry piled on the floor because I didn’t feel like carrying it to the laundry room, yet again. Little by little, “I’ll start again tomorrow” or “I’ll do it later” were the tiny decisions that eventually took me out of the game and filled me with frustration and disgust.
On the other hand, setting goals puts a little distance on my target. This year, when I felt I was ready to look at my goals, I decided to do a vision board. I cut out images that captured the vision for each area where I needed structure and added words that would encourage me along the way. I wrote down my goals, and I placed my vision board where I would see it every morning and every evening. When I pass it, I speak in the future tense about what I have achieved, and I invite God because I need something more than willpower.
Goals allow me to identify steps I need to take, changes I need to implement, and give me an overall strategy that allows me to be successful. I’m able to make incremental adjustments as my mind figures out a way to work toward that goal. Setting goals allows me to back up my “want” with a “why.” Once I have that in place, it seems I naturally gravitate toward what I’m spending my time visualizing and praying about. I’m constantly motivated by this formula of creating new habits.
I suppose I could be more successful with setting and keeping resolutions if I approached them like I do goals. What if I didn’t put so much pressure on myself on January 1 to be perfect? What if I allowed myself to make adjustments instead of feeling defeated at the first sign of failure? Striving for perfection has robbed me of many a sweet victory that I didn’t even notice—small victories that would have given me a smile, a pat on the back, the desire to try again, and the feeling I can do better next time.
Whether goals or resolutions, it’s really about habits. Every day there are things we do that we give no thought to, such as frequenting the same place for lunch, using the same parking space, sitting in the same seat at church, making sure we get our coffee, driving a certain path to work or school, etc. We take showers and brush our teeth without thinking about it, because our moms repeatedly told us to do these things until we created the habit.
Habits assure us we can be disciplined. But how do we gain discipline in the right way? Letting our emotions rule us will feed our flesh. If we wait to exercise when we feel like it, it’s not going to happen. Waiting to feel like we want to wash the laundry? We’ll pull our hair out before we stop stepping over that pile and picking through it to see if we can salvage something to wear. When we constantly give in to how we feel, it creates the habit that establishes the discipline. We will naturally default to the established habit without even thinking about it.
But how do we rule the flesh? How do we find the ability to change our willpower? Part of having a personal relationship with Christ is that we’re constantly being exposed to truth, love, and wisdom. The simple discipline of taking time to read His Word or spend quiet time with Him will become a habit. In creating that habit, we begin to understand who we are and who He is.
Applying His truth, wisdom, and love to our daily lives brings about a transformation that has the power to heal our brokenness and redefine how we feel about ourselves, as well as those around us. It will set us on fire for life and for the adventure He has for us.
Embracing the truth that we are loved, no matter what, by our Creator removes the pressure to perform, the need to be “someone” by our own definitions. When we find out who He says we are, we’ll know where we’re going and the way to get there will be revealed. In Him, we get rest, release, and time to catch our breath. It’s a beautiful thing to deeply understand that Christ is enough because then we can put away the striving for perfection and relax in His perfection.
NOW LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
Self-reflection
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take the truths you discover about yourself and hold them up to the Light to evaluate them against who God says you are.
- List three habits (repetitive action done automatically w/little to no thought) that you are consistent with right now in your life.
- Do these habits contribute to a good quality of life or a bad quality of life?
- What motivated you to create your current habits?
- What sort of discipline did it take to achieve your current habits?
- What new habits do you want/need to create?
- Will you be motivated by a habit you want vs a habit you need? Is there a difference?
- With each new goal/resolution make sure to write out your “Why” and refer to it often to keep you motivated.
- Will these new habits call for new disciplines? In what way?
- What are some ways you can implement new routines/habits?
- Do you think speaking scripture over your life is helpful in changing your attitude or building your faith? If so, how?
Use God’s word to take control over traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts, take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises found in His word.
Print, then cut and carry this Scripture with you and/or post it in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is what God’s word says to encourage you and to give you an example of His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)
When you read God’s Word say to yourself: As a believer in Christ Jesus I have access to His power which is the Holy Spirit. I have no need to be timid/afraid/scared because the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead is the same one that gives me His power, His love and His ability to be self-disciplined. Embracing who God is and who He says I am enables me to walk with power, love and self-control!
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
