It’s not too often that a widower (a man who has lost his wife), will talk openly about grief but my guest today, Daniel Doolan took the time to share his experience of loosing his precious wife, Kathy. He and Kathy were married for 48 years before Leukemia snatched her from his embrace. When I think about the stigma attached to a man showing emotion I wondered where does a widower find comfort? And because God has said that it is not good for man to be alone, I questioned if there is any purpose left for a widower (or even a widow) after such a devastating loss?
Daniel talks about taking control of his grief by embracing it. Actually, more like going after it. Which I thought was vey unique because whether male or female I feel like our first response is to protect ourself from it. But when he shared some of the benefits he was experiencing by engaging his grief whenever it wanted to well up in his heart, they were pretty significant so I can see why he’d continue using that method as part of the healing process. He talked about how cathartic and cleansing it was for him. He shared how it felt that it kept him from bitterness and the overwhelm of anxiety. He was seeing improvements whether it be mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.
As I was talking with Daniel he said something that made me think, wow, he’s been engaging God about death for quite some time. To me, it revealed the depth of his relationship, the comfort, the confidence that he has with his God. All of us know that ain’t none of us getting out of here alive but we really don’t want to talk about it.
But that doesn’t appear to be true with Daniel. He told me about an old prayer he used to pray. It was my impression that this was before Kathy was diagnosed with Leukemia. Maybe it was a conversation he had with God because of their various health concerns prior to her diagnosis. But he was having a conversation with God about death and he said, “Father, when one of us goes, let us be a witness. If it’s me, let Kathy be a witness. And if it’s her, let me be a witness to those around me of your love and of your hope.”
Since God didn’t take Daniel home first, he knows God must have a plan. True to God’s ability to give purpose to our pain Daniel is more than the title of widower. He has become a certified ATD Therapy Dog Handler. Now he and his blonde sidekick, a Golden Retriever named Amber are able to have difficult conversations that most people feel are awkward and intrusive at best.
Amber’s sweet disposition softens the atmosphere as well as someone’s heart and that gives way for Daniel to have an honest conversation about the pain and struggle of cancer. He spends his time giving hope, encouragement, and unconditional love to those who are facing the fear of uncertainty and the potential of death.
The more Daniel talked the more obvious it became. Kathy was precious to him. He took her well being, her safety, and her care very serious. You’ll be able to hear it in his voice, his love for her and how much he misses her. Be inspired by Daniel’s story and by the beauty that is blossoming out of deep, deep anguish.
Lived Loved and Thrive!
Connect with Daniel @ dd9293@comcast.net
Bio:
Daniel is retired after dedicating 40 years to his trade of choice, Television Studio/Field Engineer. Additionally, he was married to his soulmate Katherine, a true daughter of the King and Savior Jesus Christ. After 48 years together God called Katherine home in April of 2021. True to God’s ability to use our pain and suffering Katherine’s battle with Leukemia gave Daniel a desire to comfort others who are fighting battles that are difficult for many to talk about. Daniel is now an ATD Therapy Dog Handler. He and his furry partner Amber, offer their accepting presence, along with words of encouragement and comfort to those who are going through their journey with cancer.
Transcript: https://www.happyscribe.com/transcriptions/b5de0ba1e35f4d2b9bcf603c782f16fb/edit_v2
