Today’s guest, author Rachel Fahrenbach has some valuable insight to share on what rest can do for you in all the areas of your life, and rest in the form of practicing Sabbath. Our conversation was based on her new book, Rest & Reflect: 12-Week Guided Sabbath Journal.
Through her guided journal you will explore these 3 areas with God:
Identity
Purpose
Belonging
To me, identity, purpose and belonging are areas that are foundational for us when navigating this thing called life. When those 3 areas are healthy we get to enjoy things like peace, clarity, and joy for the journey.
This isn’t a legalistic practice. It moves with the ebb and flow of life and it looks original to the families that define how they want to focus on God. It’s truly a beautiful thing.
Because resting in God is a spiritual inheritance that we have access to as His children, you know God has a beautiful exchange for us when we practice the Sabbath. Anytime we draw near to Him He showers us with His affection and generosity. And He always gives more than we can imagine.
God’s value system is such that when we discover who He is in the type of rest that He has for us we get more. More peace, less anxiety. More relationship with less work. More life, less overwhelm.
Giving God our focus helps us to begin to see things through the lens of God’s heart for us and that sweet friend is transformational!
Talking with Rachel about practicing the Sabbath reminds me that it offer us the opportunity to have that garden of eden experience…in the here and now…..daily perceiving Him, walking and talking with Him.
Rachel shows us that resting is not being lazy, it shouldn’t make you feel guilty and you’re not adding something to you To Do list. I want to challenge you to give God your time by practicing a Sabbath and see what He has for you. Test Him, taste and see that He is good.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
BIO: RACHEL FAHRENBACH is the author of Rest & Reflect, a guided journal that helps you implement a weekly rhythm of rest and reflection in your week through the practice of Sabbath. Her desire is to see moms reclaim a deep joy and stabilizing peace in their weeks by actively choosing to rest. To support them in this choice, Rachel offers encouragement and resources for implementing a Sabbath practice at rachelfahrenbach.com. Rachel and her husband live in the Chicagoland area with their three kiddos.
To connect with Rachel:
Instagram.com/rachelfahrenbach
Facebook.com/rachelfahrenbach
To download a sample week from the guided journal: https://rachelfahrenbach.com/journal/
To purchase the journal: https://www.amazon.com/Rest-Reflect-12-Week-Sabbath-Journal/dp/1736855514
To get access to The Busy Mom’s Guide to a Simple Family Sabbath: rachelfahrenbach.com/sabbath
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00.000] – Rachel
We consume so much, and I don’t even think we realize how much we consume. As far as media goes, people’s opinions, expectations, things that people say, world views that people have. We don’t even realize how much we’re consuming on a daily basis, between media, between social media, between conversations we have at the grocery store even. And because we move at such a quick pace in life, we don’t actually have time to process anymore. It used to be you went and saw a movie with your friends, and then you might sit and discuss it afterwards or you might talk about it in the car ride home.
[00:00:34.990] – Rachel
Now we sit on our couches and we watch movie after movie after movie after movie, and we don’t even have time to process the first one by the time we’re watching the second one. But we don’t understand how much music we are consuming as we listen to Spotify and it’s turning over one song after the other. There’s just a subconscious consumption of messages that unless we give ourselves time to process with our Creator, sometimes we don’t realize that we’ve internalized those messages that were never meant to be internalized.
[00:01:29.110] – Sherrie
When life as you know it is flipped upside down, we struggle to make sense of it all. Why would a good God allow this to happen? Hi, I’m Sherrie Pilkington, your host of Finding God in Our Pain. In early 2018, the deepest questions of my life erupted when I unexpectedly lost my husband of thirty-two years. Since then, I’ve searched the heart of God for what He has to say about pain and suffering. In this podcast, we’ll discover how God enters into our pain, shepherds us through our darkest valley, and out into the green pastures once again.
[00:01:53.410] – Sherrie
I’ll bring you firsthand stories from women who will allow us into their authentic struggle, along with professional advice from experts, counselors, and others who can speak to what it looks like to navigate pain. Join me as we discover God’s answers to the deepest cries of our shattered heart.
[00:01:54.300] – Sherrie
I’ll keep my intro short because my guest author, Rachel Fehrenbach, has some good, good insights to share with you on what rest can do for you in all the areas of your life and rest in the form of practicing Sabbath. Our conversation was based on her new book, Rest and Reflect, a twelve-week guided Sabbath Journal. Through her guided Journal, you can explore these three areas with God identity, purpose, and belonging. And for me, that’s three key areas that are foundational for us when we’re navigating this thing called life.
[00:02:24.280] – Sherrie
And when you have those three areas healthy, then to me, you get to enjoy things like peace, clarity, and joy for the journey. Make sure you listen to the end because this is not legalistic. It moves with the ebb and flow of life. It looks original to the families that define how they want to use their time to focus on God. It’s truly a beautiful thing. And because resting in God is a spiritual inheritance that we have access to as His children, as God’s children, you know God has placed a beautiful exchange there for us. Anytime we draw near to Him, He showers us with His affection and generosity.
[00:02:58.050] – Sherrie
God’s value system is such that when we discover who He is and the type of rest that He has for us, we get more, more peace, less anxiety, more relationship with less work, more life, less overwhelmed. When we begin to see things through the lens of God’s heart for us, we take on a whole new way of living. And that, sweet friend, is transformational.
[00:03:19.860] – Sherrie
When I was talking with Rachel about practicing the Sabbath, it just reminded me that doing that, putting aside that time with God, offers us the opportunity to have that Garden of Eden experience in the here and now, daily perceiving God, walking and talking with Him. In our conversation, Rachel shows us that resting is not being lazy. It shouldn’t make you feel guilty and you’re not adding something else on top of your current to-do list. I want to challenge you to give God your time by practicing a Sabbath and see what He does for you.
[00:03:50.680] – Sherrie
Test Him. Taste and see that He is good. If you’re like me, sitting in my quiet time with the Lord and my mind keeps wandering off to my to-do list and all–a ton of other stuff that are running in the back of my mind to get done–if that’s you too, then do like I did and order Rachel’s guided Sabbath Journal. It’s the best guide to keep you focused and mine the heart of God for some beautiful revelations about your identity, purpose, and belonging.
[00:04:14.990] – Sherrie
Before we move on to my conversation with Rachel, I want to remind you, keep the eyes of your heart on God because He’s writing a much bigger love story with you, an overarching love story with you as the unique individual person He has created you to be. Much love, sweet friend.
[00:04:31.470] – Sherrie
Rachel, your story of how typical challenges in your life began to multiply and then led to overwhelm and anxiety, and then, of course, it starts to cost you mental, physical, emotional, spiritual health. I’ve heard it said that because we are made of mind, body, spirit, that when one of those suffers, it begins to impact the other two. And then we have our hands full because we’re not taking care of these areas. Tell me about the first of several what I will term as snowfalls that would eventually cause an avalanche in your life.
[00:05:08.730] – Rachel
When I think back to that time period where I felt like the extreme exhaustion that you’re talking about, just like where every aspect of my whole being just felt like it was under attack, I probably would go back to the day that we brought my newborn son home from the hospital, and I say that, but I have to add in that we adopted him. So we actually didn’t bring him home from the hospital. We brought him home from a hotel, which sounds so crazy. Our case worker met us in the lobby of a hotel and handed him to us.
[00:05:41.220] – Rachel
And up until that point, life was busy and life was very full, and there was starting to be some shifts. But after that day, everything really started to get amplified. And I think it was amplified because when you have a newborn, you’re sleep deprived. There’s all the new things that come along with having a new baby in your home. But we are also adjusting to the fact that we had this new little one in our home, and it didn’t look like the other two times that we had a newborn in our home.
[00:06:14.010] – Rachel
We had two biological children at that time. One was five and the other three. So we had littles on top of having a newborn. Also, at that time, my husband had started a new job, and he had been there for about a year or so at that point. But before that, we had gone through two unemployment periods. We are coming off these two unemployment period, this adoption. So by this point, we’re, like, cash flow was a little tight, you know, so finances were a little–not–we were doing okay, but it was definitely not as good as we would have liked at the time.
[00:06:47.720] – Rachel
And we had some debt, and it was stressful. So we had some debt, we had a newborn in our home, a nonprofit that I had co-founded was growing very quickly. It was a food pantry, and on one hand, you’re like, yay, more people to serve, but on the other hand, you’re like, oh, my gosh, I’m like, where’s the volunteers? We need more volunteers. It was 100% volunteer ran and trying to get donors and trying to get volunteers.
[00:07:13.490] – Rachel
And it was just– it was a lot. It was a lot. We had a really great team there, but there was a couple of volunteers that came on that my personality and their personalities just didn’t jive. And so we were having some conflict. With age comes maturity and with them, and through that I had to learn how I dealt with conflict and how to do it in a way that was biblical, in a way that was gracious and kind while also being a leader. And that was a new one for me.
[00:07:45.480] – Rachel
I had done conflict resolution before, but having to be a leader in that conflict resolution, that was a whole new ball game for me. So it was like these little things just started happening and snowballing and growing and just putting more and more emphasis on my life. And then our church had to close. Our church community that we had been a part of for a few years, that we just loved being a part of, where both my husband and I felt like we grew so much spiritually, that we got to be in community with my family there, too.
[00:08:19.280] – Rachel
And so it was like my grandkids were worshipping alongside of my parents. Not my grandkids, their grandkids. My kids were worshipping alongside of their grandparents. And that was just such a beautiful experience to have. And it was having to go away because they were too small to maintain the property. That was very difficult to–church shopping is hard enough. But when you have to church shop, not because you want to, but because you have to, it just is hard. Just one thing on top of the other.
[00:08:51.190] – Rachel
And then I think what the tip of the iceberg was was I had a few close friends that threw out the whole thing, started to pull away from me. And I do think that God was shifting our friendships for various reasons. Now, looking back on it, I can see that those shifts needed to happen, but at the time, it felt like abandonment, especially having just brought home a baby, especially because I felt so lonely, because I was trying to do all these things, trying to navigate motherhood in a new way that I hadn’t been before.
[00:09:24.590] – Rachel
And I always say the third one will put you over, like, the first two I feel like you can kind of navigate. The third one, you’re like, oh, my gosh. So I think by that point, I just felt like, oh, my gosh, they just left me hanging. Where are my friends? And then we had to start going to a new church. It was just like –I say that it was a bunch of unique challenges amongst everyday hardships, right? Like, it’s just everyday stuff, like everyday motherhood challenges along with these very unique things that were happening in my life. It was like the perfect storm, and it definitely put me to a point of just complete exhaustion.
[00:10:04.000] – Sherrie
I can see where there’s these basic commonalities, such as young children in the house and maybe even adoption. I don’t know how often that happens in a family to say that it’s basically common ground for everybody but church family. So that breaks away. That’s a foundational piece. Good friends. Obviously, you love community. You’ve got a nonprofit, and now you’re butting heads with some of the volunteers. They’re crucial. Yet, like you said, your personality does not match theirs, and that makes for a challenge within the business.
[00:10:33.460] – Sherrie
As a side note, though, I’d like to understand how to do that as a leadership position and be gracious and lead into that sort of conflict resolution. That sounds good. You could probably use that in a family, too.
[00:10:45.500] – Rachel
I was very fortunate that I was on a leadership team with some women who had already gone through it and who were much wiser than me and who were able to say what it–let’s make sure that we’re going back to God on this. Let’s try to do our best to resolve this conflict in every way possible. And if we can’t, then we’re just going to have to move forward for the sake of the the ministry. And this is what the ministry’s goal is, and this is what the ministry’s mission is.
[00:11:12.860] – Rachel
And this is how we’re going to move forward. We just have to make a decision to move forward. And so they’re much, much wiser than I was and could lead us through that. And so that volunteer actually ended up just stepping away from the ministry because she felt like she needed to. God just continued to move us forward after that. And so I am grateful for their wisdom, because I don’t think I could have made it through about it.
[00:11:34.280] – Sherrie
I would need wisdom. I would need leaders who were wiser.
[00:11:37.730] – Rachel
Yes.
[00:11:38.710] – Sherrie
Thinking about all of those components and those moving parts. And these are crucial parts of your life, your family, as far as husband and children, and then your family, as far as the church, and then your family, as far as your extended friendships and whatnot. So what was the breaking point to which you throw your hands up in the air and say, God, the ship is sinking.
[00:12:00.430] – Rachel
I think my breaking point– I was to the point where –when you asked me that what came to mind is this moment where something had happened and misunderstanding with one of the friends that I felt like was pulling away from me. And I just felt a huge amount of abandonment in that moment. And that’s a whole other conversation, things that we wrestle with and ways that we internalize things. But in that moment, I just felt like everything is just falling apart. And I remember getting so angry and so bitter and feeling like I was the victim and that’s not typically my personality.
[00:12:44.780] – Rachel
I’m a pretty optimistic person, and I’m a pretty friendly and outgoing person. And I realized in that moment as I was just lashing out and raging and ranting, and my husband’s sitting there listening to me that that was not the first time I had done that, where I was just so angry and so bitter. And it was like it was getting to the point where every time something was happening, I was just feeling like this whole, like, destabilizing chaos just kind of welling up inside of me.
[00:13:13.080] – Rachel
It was just like the storm that was happening outside of me now suddenly felt like it was internal, and it just didn’t feel good. And it didn’t feel right. And it didn’t feel like peace at all. And I just thought, this is not how it’s supposed to be. I’m not supposed to feel like this all the time. And that was the beginning of God starting to say, you need to pay attention. And we started going to a new church and got plugged into a new small group.
[00:13:40.130] – Rachel
And the church was going through the series on the Ten Commandments, and we were in a small group discussing the Fourth Commandment, and I just was reading the scriptures over and over again about the Sabbath. It just suddenly hit me, as we’re all trying to decide,– we were all discussing, like, okay, what is the Sabbath? What do you have to do? Like, what constitutes as work? What doesn’t? We’re all discussing this in this room. And I just remember sitting there with this moment where I thought to myself, what if we’re all missing it?
[00:14:12.600] – Rachel
What if we’re all missing the point? That it’s really not about what do we do or what do we not do? But maybe this is a gift that’s being handed out to us. And we’re just not even seeing that in front of our faces. And so we walked out of that small group, and my husband looked over at me and he just said to me, he was like, this conversation is not done yet, is it? And I’m like, I don’t think so. And that started us looking into, okay, what could a Sabbath practice look like for us?
[00:14:42.280] – Rachel
What does it mean to take a 24-hour break? Would that even be feasible for us? And so we started, we’re like, okay, we’re going to do this. And so we let our family know. We’re like, okay, we’re going to be Sabbath-ing from Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon. We started out by saying we weren’t going to do any kind of social media or electronics. We decided to kind of do a big, big Sabbath. So we took electronics out of there. We took, like, seeing people out of there.
[00:15:11.010] – Rachel
And we just kind of hunkered down as a family. And what became pretty regular in that original version of our practice, because it has shifted and grown since then, but in the original version, and I think it was what we needed at the time, we did a Sabbath meal together as a family. We did some one-on-one. And then as my husband was putting the kids the bed, I started having about an hour of prayer and reflection time. And I just sat there and there was no objective. Like, sometimes I think when we do a Bible study, we sit down, we’re like, okay, we’re going to study these scriptures. We’re going to earn these things. We’re going to study this topic. We’re going to figure out what God says about it.
[00:15:53.020] – Rachel
But I just sat there and there was no agenda. There was no, like, okay, Lord, I want to accomplish this. I just sat there with Him. And it was from this doing things with God, to almost like walking alongside of Him, doing all the things, going to church, being in small group, running a food pantry that served people, doing things with God to just sitting across from Him in this intimate posture of listening.
[00:16:22.150] – Rachel
And, oh, my gosh, He tended to my soul in that moment every week, week after week. He just met me there and He began to peel away the layers about my identity, my purpose, and my belonging. And He stabilized everything again. And the peace came back into my life that had been missing. And in that rest moment with Him, I was refreshed and renewed. And even though life has still been just as busy and actually been harder, we’ve lost my mother-in-law. We had a miscarriage. COVID happened.
[00:17:04.040] – Rachel
Life has not gotten any easier. But week after week, I sit with Jesus, and He tends to my soul where I’m at. In that moment, I’m just with Him. And it has been life saving.
[00:17:17.910] – Sherrie
Can you put into words when you say He tends to me? Can you give me an example, or is it more–I know it’s difficult.
[00:17:23.820] – Rachel
For me, when I sit down and I have actually– I created a guided journal to help women do this. It’s called Rest and Reflect. I think our sense of identity is wrapped up in four questions. Who am I? What is my personality? What are my interests? How has God designed me, right? How do I operate? Who does God say I am? Because so often we can forget He calls me Beloved. He calls me Redeemed. He calls me these things. Who does God say I am?
[00:17:53.200] – Rachel
And how should I live? What is His calling on my life? What does that look like? And then how do I relate to those around me? How do I belong? What is my sense of purpose within relationships that I have? And so those were the questions that I started asking myself week after week with God. Pretty much what it amounts to is I would ask Him, like, okay, this is how I view this week has gone. These are the things that I see about my identity, my purpose, and my belonging.
[00:18:25.230] – Rachel
And what would You have to say to me? What am I missing here? Help me see it with Your eyes, Lord, because I think that this is true. What is actual truth? And that’s where He tended to me. Because there would be moments where I’m like, oh, this happened, and God would gently say, actually, no. Let’s step back, take a deep breath. Let Me show you what it really, truly was. And I think that’s the part where He tended to me. And he does this week after week.
[00:18:57.550] – Rachel
It’s a gentle reminder that He is still in control, that He has good for me planned and that He is not going to let me go. And I think that being reminded of those truths is what brings us stabilizing peace back into your life. He says that He came to give life and give it abundantly. And I think that sometimes we forget that His peace is beyond comprehension. And if we don’t stop long enough to let Him blanket us with His peace, we miss out on how beautiful and deep it is and rich it is.
[00:19:37.930] – Sherrie
We have a spiritual inheritance. Rest is a spiritual inheritance. Why do we miss out on that?
[00:19:43.940] – Rachel
Oh, goodness. I always say Sabbath is a gift wrapped up in a commandment, and yet so often we just kind of skirt on by it. I think there’s a couple of reasons. I think, one, our culture is just is–it is not designed to rest, especially in the last, oh gosh, like 30 years where we have now on demand, everything. Everything was due yesterday. We have the capability to be on demand all the time. Should we? No. But we think we have to perform at this level. And there’s also the comparison game. Right now we have everybody’s lives on display.
[00:20:20.150] – Rachel
So now we’re constantly going, oh, I got to keep up with the Joneses even more so. It’s not just the Jones that live next door to me. It’s the ones that live next door to me and over there and over here. And so I think there’s– just our culture in general doesn’t encourage it, nor does it reward it. Think about vacation days. People– it’s like some minuscule number actually use their full amount of vacation days every year, because there’s a fear if I take vacation days, I’ll be seen as not being loyal to the company, or we have too much work.
[00:20:53.490] – Rachel
So I’m never going to get it done if I take these vacation days. I also think that our church doesn’t truly set us up to rest either. I love the Church. I’m not going to say that we should not be in Church community. I think Church community is so important. I think sound teaching is so important. But I do think the way that we do church is very much–we go to Church, we consume Church, we go to small group, we consume small group. We do a Bible study.
[00:21:18.940] – Rachel
We serve. It’s this constant going and going and doing. Our Church culture has not really set us up to just be in community with one another, to just sit with the Holy Spirit and let Him speak to us. We kind of shy away from that. We want to learn and we want to know and we want to apply. And so even within our Church culture, I don’t think we’re set up very well for simply being and resting. And so I think all of that coupled together, there is this culture that doesn’t encourage or reward rest.
[00:21:55.200] – Rachel
We have a Church culture that’s not exactly giving us a structure to rest within. And then you throw on there the layer of mom guilt that you’re not doing enough– it’s just the perfect storm of things that are going to get in your way to rest.
[00:22:09.360] – Sherrie
In all of these areas that you’re talking about, that we overdo ourselves, whether it’s church commitments or mommy tasks or whatever, the common denominator is us as the individual. So what can we do to change our mindset about over-compensating or over-volunteering. How can we make an effort to bring rest into –is the Sabbath the answer for that?
[00:22:37.980] – Rachel
I think it is. And I specifically think that it’s a family Sabbath, not just a personal Sabbath, because we all know moms won’t take rest if their families aren’t taken care of. It’s just how we are wired. I personally think that when you structure a Sabbath rest in a way that your whole family is engaged in that rest, it allows you to take a step back and go, okay, everybody’s taking care of … Now, Lord, take care of me. I do think that it is an answer. Many people will say, oh, it’s great as long as you’re resting a couple of hours, even small rests throughout the week is good.
[00:23:13.720] – Rachel
I think that those are good pauses, and I think that’s helpful. I think that’s more about putting margin into your day. But when I’m talking about rest, the spiritual inheritance that you were talking about earlier with Sabbath goes back to Genesis chapter one. It goes back to that Garden. It goes back to the fact that we were supposed to be co-rulers with God in the Garden. He cultivated this whole world, and then He co- inhabited with it.
[00:23:37.850] – Rachel
He created us, and then He co-inhabited with us. And in doing so, He set up this beautiful example of work and rest, and not just work and take a break, but work in delight in the thing that you’ve created. And I think that that’s something that we miss out on in our culture today. We’ve lost a sense of we cultivate, we work, we create, and then we delight in the thing that we’ve worked and created. And so it’s something– it’s more than just let’s take a break, let’s take a nap.
[00:24:09.620] – Rachel
Let’s structure our entire week so it has this balance of six days of cultivating and then a seventh of actually cohabiting with that creation. Let’s reflect God’s image in it. Let’s truly show the Creator in the way that we’re creating.
[00:24:28.910] – Sherrie
What you’re saying kind of rings the bell for me with regard to I’m having to practice celebrating. When I went through my season of grief, I didn’t realize how little I celebrated the good things. And so now I try to be mindful about stopping, pausing, and celebrating, and also giving attention to grieving what has broken my heart, grieving things that I’ve had to say goodbye to. And now it sounds like this rest, it has to be purposeful about setting aside some time with the Lord. I do know when I sit with Him quietly, I get a great reward, and I believe that the beauty of that is His presence.
[00:25:11.430] – Sherrie
But I find myself wandering off. What can you do to keep that intact? Keep your focus on God. Do you have any practices for that?
[00:25:20.040] – Rachel
Yes. So when I am teaching people about a Sabbath practice, I typically suggest that they don’t just take 24 hours off and not have a structure to it. When you look at the Bible and you look at the different observances God gives the Israelites, He often gives them structure for what they’re supposed to do during those observances. And even within our practice of Communion, there a rhythm to it. There’s a routine to it, right? And so I actually suggest that they structure their Sabbath, and I give them a structure.
[00:25:51.410] – Rachel
And this is just based off of things that I have observed when reading the scriptures. They kind of popped out at me. It’s not necessarily that the Scriptures are prescriptive in this, but it’s just the way that you could structure it, if you are looking for a way to structure it. So I call it the Five R’s, and the first one is Remember, remember your Provider in His provision. And traditionally, in the Jewish faith, they open their Sabbath time with a meal together, and they light candles, and they do blessings over their kids.
[00:26:23.540] – Rachel
We, as a family, have adopted some of those traditions. We do light candles. I’ve written a little bit of a liturgy that ties in how Christ is our Sabbath rest to some of those traditions. We take Communion during that time. But really, the focus of that Sabbath meal is to remember our Provider and His provision for that week, and just in general, His provision for our lives through the work of the cross. And then I suggest you have a time of remembrance. Then I suggest you have a time of reflection.
[00:26:57.490] – Rachel
And this is going back to what we were talking about a little earlier, about a time to sit with God and look back over both the challenges and the joys of your week and ask Him to really help you see it through His eyes or to see things that you missed the first time around and just have that quiet time with Him. So I suggest, like, an hour, at least doing that. And I think when you–the first time you do it, even a second, 3rd, 4th, even now, like, the more you practice it, I think the easier it is to, like, go into that space because you–your mind, your body, I have cues for myself.
[00:27:32.940] – Rachel
I sit in the same chair. I have a pen and a journal that are in–all of our Sabbath materials are in the same spot. We keep them all in the same drawer of a cabinet that’s right by our table and right by the chair where I do my reflection. I have a blanket that I use, too. These are just cues that, okay, this is the time that we do this thing. And I think that’s what the Sabbath meal too, when we light the candle is, like, this is the time when we do this thing where we remember God and give Him thanks.
[00:28:02.510] – Rachel
So a time of remembrance, time of reflection, and then a time of relaxing in ways that meet your personality and your interest. And this is an area where my husband and I will talk about this about Thursday, Friday, we’ll start talking about ways that we either need to relax as a family or relax as individuals. And if we need time, neither one of us are true introverts, and so sometimes we don’t really need to be alone, but sometimes there’s weeks where one of us will be like, hey, you know, I just need it– some time by myself.
[00:28:38.180] – Rachel
Then what we’ll do, we’ll each take an hour and we’ll flip flop. So I’m the primary response parent for an hour while he goes and works in his wood shop, and then we switch and he’s the primary response parent. And I am in my bedroom reading or just playing some music or whatnot, whatever it is that we need that week. And that changes from week to week. Sometimes we just do a fun family activity during Sabbath. We went to Six Flags last week. That was just a fun family activity.
[00:29:04.850] – Rachel
We enjoy that. That would put some people over the edge, and some people will be, like, that’s not rest at all. But for us it is. So we have that. And then the other thing that I think is definitely in the Scripture is reconnection with both God and with each other during the Sabbath. I think it’s really important. We know that we will be together as a family for probably the majority of that Sabbath period. But also we know that my spouse, my husband and I are going to have be able to reconnect.
[00:29:34.340] – Rachel
So after the kids go to bed on Saturday night, the two of us just sit there, no phones, we just sit there and talk. And I will say we also do one-on- one time with our kids. And that intentional reconnection with the people who are our people, I think it’s so important, and I think it really goes back to the fact that we are made for community. We’re made to do life with other people. That reconnection time with my husband and even my kids. Like, sometimes the week just gets super busy.
[00:30:04.210] – Rachel
But we know we know that by Saturday we’re going to have time to connect together. And then finally, the fifth R is to rejoice, and that–the word rejoice actually means to take delight in, to enjoy. And I think over and over again there’s verses where it says, if you will take delight in My faith, if you will rejoice in My Sabbath, it’s the thing that God, like, don’t just do, enjoy this creation that I’ve given you enjoy the good gifts I’ve given you. That’s just the way that we structure it.
[00:30:36.220] – Rachel
It’s the way that I suggest other people structure. I think when we have a structure, it allows us to kind of focus in. We know we’re doing this thing for this time, and we can just kind of let everything else fall to the wayside.
[00:30:49.260] – Sherrie
And you can tailor that as you go, correct? As far as the individuality of your family and personalities, the ages of your children, things like that.
[00:30:57.040] – Rachel
Exactly. And the one thing that I always make sure to tell people because they aren’t aware of it, in the Jewish faith, they actually do Sabbath from sundown on Friday to sundown the next day. And I think there’s so much wisdom in doing the 24 hours over from evening to evening because your physical rest, your sleep is actually built into it, right? And you also have time to prepare during the day for that rest time, especially if you don’t want to be cooking during it, you can cook the morning of, a big batch or whatever so you have leftovers.
[00:31:36.660] – Rachel
And then you have time to prepare. So for us, my husband and the kids, they clean the house, they prepare our Sabbath meal, and then I come home, and we start our Sabbath about around 5:00. So we go through our Sabbath 24 hours, and then Sunday night, our Sabbath ends around 5:00 on Sunday. And then we have Sunday evening to prepare for the week. So there’s just a lot of wisdom in doing it. It gives you time to prepare on both sides of the day. And then your physical rest is automatically built into that 24 hours.
[00:32:06.280] – Sherrie
Rest is always good. I love that you have– remember your Provider, reflection, relaxing, and then reconnection and rejoice. Those are key elements for any good life. Boy, what do we miss out on when we don’t take the time to discover these areas? I know you said that the Lord has spoken to you. Or maybe how did you put it, you were talking about the three areas–
[00:32:36.250] – Rachel
Identity, purpose, and belonging.
[00:32:38.380] – Sherrie
What has God showed you about your identity in some of your personal time? What’s a revelation He has given you, a value, a takeaway?
[00:32:45.330] – Rachel
A couple of things. One, I have learned that I am a writer, through and through. And what I mean by that, even if I never publish a single word, I still need to write because that’s how I process the world. That’s how I connect with God through writing my prayers out. It also helps me focus in what I’m praying to write it out. There’s something about that that I need. Oftentimes, I don’t even know what I’m thinking until I write it down. And so He showed that to me.
[00:33:18.210] – Rachel
I went to college and majored with creative writing. I had plans to become a published author, all the things. And throughout the years of that dream not being answered and not being able to go down that road, there was a part of me that felt like I had lost a piece of me. But what God was starting to show me was that, Rachel, even being a writer and doing the writing career are two different things. You still need to write and not throw that away just because you’re not getting published.
[00:33:48.470] – Rachel
So that was one thing that came out of it. That was very telling to me. It gave me permission to block out time to write. So my husband and I had a conversation about it, and I said, you know what? I think I really need to be writing regularly in order to be able to process the world and to really lean into how I’m uniquely designed. And so I started doing that, just started writing. It took a little while, but God actually started opening up some doors for me.
[00:34:15.710] – Rachel
And so now I have this guided journal I published, and this is now a regular rhythm. He’s moved me into this new season. He had a lot to teach me first, but now He’s moving into this new season where I actually get to be both be a writer but also do a writing career. I just think that’s such a beautiful gift that He’s given me. Another thing that He taught me about my identity. I really do care what other people think of me. And for the longest time, I’ve heard people over and over again say very dismissingly, “You shouldn’t care what other people think about you” like, you’re being a people, pleaser.
[00:34:50.670] – Rachel
And I’m like, no, you don’t understand. Like, there’s just the thing about me that I care what other people think. And it’s not going to just go away. And I didn’t know what to do with that. And so in that quiet time, in that quiet space with God, He started showing me that that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But when I let the fear of what they may or they may not say, that’s when it becomes a stronghold in my life because, you know, we should care what other people say about us in the way am I reflecting God’s image?
[00:35:24.940] – Rachel
That should be a concern of mine. But am I reflecting God’s image because I’m afraid that if I don’t do certain things, people are going to think I’m a bad Christian? That’s not good. But am I reflecting God’s image because I want people to see Him and know Him? That’s not a bad thing. So that was something that He showed me about myself, about that very fine line that I needed to walk, and I need to constantly submit to Him. And in doing so, it allowed me to start asking myself the question, oh, am I afraid, am I doing this thing out of fear? Or am I doing this thing because I feel like that’s what God’s calling me to do?
[00:36:02.210] – Sherrie
What a great distinction, too. Like you said, a fine line, some things that stir our soul or make us mad or whatever are good indicators, if you will, that we need to take a look at something and then to dissect it between what is my biggest fear here to what is God calling me to do, if anything, in this situation? So that’s pretty powerful with identity.
[00:36:28.420] – Rachel
One of the things that God really just started bringing into focus for me as I start pondering these identity questions with Him was that often times I hear people say, oh, we’re broken people. Sin has caused people to be broken. And God gave me this image of more of, like, a glass that’s been fractured. Sin has fractured us. We’re not completely broken. But those fractures are just enough that it distorts the image. And so oftentimes our strengths have been fractured by sin, so they’re also kind of our distorted weaknesses.
[00:37:04.280] – Rachel
And so that’s where what you’re talking about, that fine line, sometimes the things that we struggle the most with is because they’ve been fractured in a way that our strength is no longer being fully seen for what it is. And so that has been definitely a thing that God’s been working on me, like, hey, over here, you’ve been saying this is a weakness of yours, but actually, if you would see it how I see it, it’s actually a strength. As long as you’re submitted to Me in the Spirit, I can refine that.
[00:37:34.770] – Rachel
I can sanctify that. I can bring it back to its original, restore it to its original design in your life. And so that’s one of the things that truly He has given me during that reflection time.
[00:37:51.260] – Sherrie
I love the word you use: restore to His original, because there’s been plenty of times when I’ve been asking the Lord, put me back together again, put this back together again, do that like it was. But then I got to thinking, I don’t really want it back to like it was. I want it back to like He wants to put it back. How does He define restoring that situation?
[00:38:12.810] – Rachel
In my guided journal in one of the weeks, I actually say the best picture I have of this is like those HGTV shows where they go to a garage sale and they pick out this furniture and you’re like, why would they want that? And then they start working on it. And they start chipping away at the paint, and they start rubbing the hardware. And then they replace the hardware. They shine this, they do that. And at the end, you have this piece that only they saw the vision to, and only they saw what it really truly could be with their help and with their expertise and with their design and their eye for beauty.
[00:38:50.300] – Rachel
And I think that’s what God does to us. He restores us to not just our original design, but this beautiful masterpiece that only He can really, truly fashion.
[00:38:59.540] – Sherrie
In His hands that stripping away process is still painful. But He is so trustworthy. He doesn’t use that stuff against you. He doesn’t use your weakness, your brokenness, your faults, your sins. He doesn’t use any of that against you. He just shapes it into something different and restores and redeems. That’s the beauty, I believe, of who He is is that He redeems that which is of this world, broken, sinful, fractured. Moving from identity to purpose, what has God told you about your purpose?
[00:39:30.160] – Rachel
One thing I’ve learned about my purpose is that He’s taught me to stop thinking about purpose as a singular thing. That it’s not just you have one purpose in life that God has called you to. I think God has called you to many. He’s called you to one purpose and that’s to reflect His glory. But He’s called you to various roles in which to do that. And so that purpose of reflecting His glory is going to look like, going to look different in different seasons of your life and in different roles that you have. In college, the professors that I had, they’re all wonderful professors, but they all had this big push to find your vocation.
[00:40:10.680] – Rachel
It was a big topic in our senior year, having a vocation, not just a career, living your life on purpose so that you don’t just do the job, but you actually do something you love. And so it put this huge pressure on me to find the thing and find the thing that would make me feel alive. I went to college with this intention. I was going to be an acquisition editor for a Christian publishing house. That was my dream, my dream. And then God put me at a scientific publication.
[00:40:39.300] – Rachel
And I was editing articles about dental work. And so you’re just kind of like, what? And then He moved me to another job. And then He moved me out–I was living in the city, He moved me out to the suburbs with my husband. And then we had kids. And I was working as a writing tutor. And then I was working as, like, I was teaching writing to home schoolers. And then I was running this nonprofit. And it got to this point where I was like, this is so far off of what my dream was, Lord, is this truly my purpose?
[00:41:08.320] – Rachel
I thought You designed me to be a writer. And yet I’m not writing in any way, shape, or form. So during this time where He started stripping this away from me, and He starts showing me purpose is not about one thing other than to reflect My goodness and My glory and My Holiness, Rachel. And you need to stop worrying so much about what your purpose is and worry more about being obedient in the roles that I’ve given you. And that completely flipped everything for me.
[00:41:41.480] – Rachel
And I moved from being so wrapped up in discovering what I was made to do and instead started saying, okay, what do You want me to do in these roles that You’ve given me right now? What roles do You want me to carry right now? Because that’s another thing. Sometimes we take on roles we’re not supposed to have. And so there was a couple of roles I had to let go of, a couple of things that I had to step out of because I had said yes when I should have said no or roles that I had said yes, but He said, okay, that’s done now. I need you to step out of it. And so it’s definitely been a very unique time of just saying, okay, what do You have for me now and how can I be obedient in that?
[00:42:19.910] – Sherrie
You kind of wrapped that or tied that back into identity because I’m reminded that, if I put my stock in one title, if that title changes, goes away, like my title of wife, if we don’t have our focus on God who is steadfast and does not change, then you can lose yourself in this process of trying to fulfill these roles, these titles, and these responsibilities. Plus, we’re a people of expectation. So we attach our expectations onto situations, people, jobs–
[00:42:51.480] – Rachel
or other people’s expectations of those roles. That was another thing that I personally had to work through with just recently. I home school my kids, and I see these pictures, these moms doing these crafts and all. I’m not a crafty person at all, but there’s a little bit of me who I was, like, oh, my goodness, I don’t home school like other people do because I’m not just a stay-at-home mom. I’m a work-from-home mom, right? I’m a writer. I have a business with my mom.
[00:43:18.210] – Rachel
I have those business things I’ve got to do. And so we home school, but we home school in the afternoon, and it looks a certain way, and I had to step back and say, okay, God’s called you to be a home-schooling parent, and He’s called you to have it look like this. And it doesn’t matter what other people’s expectations of what a home-schooling parents should be. This is what He’s asking you to do, and you need to be obedient.
[00:43:42.480] – Sherrie
And that brings up another point about God’s originality with us as individuals, what He’s calling us to do, what it looks like. God is always rewriting what we think He does or what we think He’ll do. And then He turns around and gives you a whole different perspective on what He was trying to do.
[00:44:03.120] – Rachel
And I think that’s why it’s so important that you have time of reflection and times where you’re just sitting and asking Him to reveal Himself to you. Because if you’re not sitting there and allowing Him to speak truth to you, we consume so much. And I don’t even think we realize how much we consume, as far as media goes, people’s opinions, expectations, things that people say, world views that people have. We don’t even realize how much we’re consuming on a daily basis, between media, between social media, between conversations we have at the grocery store, even.
[00:44:39.440] – Rachel
And because we move at such a quick pace in life, we don’t actually have time to process anymore. It used to be you went and saw a movie with your friends and then you might sit and discuss it afterwards, or you might talk about it in the car ride home. Now we sit on our couches and we watch movie after movie after movie after movie, and we don’t even have time to process the first one by the time we’re watching the second one. We don’t understand how much music we are consuming as we listen to Spotify and it’s turning over one song after the other.
[00:45:10.080] – Rachel
There’s just such a subconscious consumption of messages that unless we give ourselves time to process with our Creator, sometimes we don’t realize that we’ve internalized those messages that were never meant to be internalized.
[00:45:23.220] – Sherrie
I know for myself that in my grief, when I isolated myself during that process, I learned more about God in that time than I have over years of looking into who He is and growing closer to Him. So, to me in that quietness is the gift of His presence, because I’ve heard you refer to it as the gift of Sabbath. What would you say, the gift of Sabbath is?
[00:45:50.880] – Rachel
I think the gift is in the being with Him and the reminder that He desires a relationship with you, that He created you to be in relationship with Him, that He created you to co-rule with him. That Garden intimacy I think we kind of skip over so quickly when we’re in our church culture. We just kind of talk about, like, oh, yeah, Adam and Eve in the garden, and then they sinned and then they left the garden. Then all the rest of life is what we kind of focus on in the Bible.
[00:46:20.970] – Rachel
But I think there’s just something about God saying, I created you to delight in you, and I take delight in you, and I want to spend time with you. That is– that’s the gift, the gift that He is able to both remind you of that, but also remind you of His goodness and His faithfulness and His provision, and also the fact that He wants– that He gives you good gifts, that He wants to be there with you. He wants to walk through life with you, that there is just something that’s rich and deep and powerful in having a relationship with the Creator of the universe.
[00:47:00.980] – Sherrie
He offers us those garden moments. We may not be able to be in the garden anymore, but that communing with Him and that fellowship with Him, He still offers that on this side of the garden.
[00:47:11.840] – Rachel
Yes. And it’s also a picture of what to come. I truly do believe that when the new Heaven and new Earth and all that is restored, I think we’re going to return to that garden-like intimacy where we are walking with him on a daily basis, and we get to experience what that was meant to be.
[00:47:27.860] – Sherrie
Before we move to belonging, let’s talk a little bit about the being versus the doing, because it sounds like this being helps us in the doing.
[00:47:38.920] – Rachel
So I think that there’s two parts that we talk about sanctification and justification in church. And I think those two terms really kind of sum up what being and doing are. We’re justified by Christ work on the cross, right? There’s nothing–we can just exist in that beautiful sacrifice. There’s nothing we can do to earn it. There’s nothing we can do to claim it. God gifts it to us. It’s just– we are– just are. We’re just being in this justified state with Him. Sanctification is the act of doing. It is the moments in which you’re walking with God.
[00:48:19.670] – Rachel
And I think that Sabbath reminds us of that state of justification so that we can live out the rest of the week in that process of sanctification. I know that, for some, that term Sabbath feels a little bit– it might even feel legalistic. Might be, like, oh, that’s the term from the law, right? But it’s so interesting how often God talks about the Sabbath throughout the entire Old Testament, and the Sabbath was meant to point, not just to the fact that Israel was a nation set apart–you know, they had all these different things that were meant to show that they’re set apart.
[00:48:58.110] – Rachel
But the Sabbath really was even pre-Moses and the Ten Commandments. Sabbath was designed within the very fabric of our time. And going back to that garden intimacy that I talked about, that was woven into that right off the bat. I think that’s why it’s not just a ceremonial thing. I think that’s why it’s included in the Ten Commandments, because it’s not just a, hey, Passover– here’s a remembrance ceremony. This is something important to do. It’s even more so.
[00:49:30.580] – Rachel
It’s like, hey, this is, like, the fabric of who I am and this relationship I want to have with you. If we actually look at the Ten Commandments, the first four are about our relationship with God and the next six our relationship with others. But I actually think that the Fourth Commandment is a hinge commandment because it talks about both God and others. It’s actually the only commandment that we really, truly get to reflect God’s glory when we do it, right? Because God actually Sabbathed. In the first week of creation, He Sabbathed with His creation.
[00:50:04.720] – Rachel
And when we observe the Fourth Commandment, we actually reflect God’s goodness and His glory. And so I think that it’s such a vital thing, a vital part of our story. And I think we lose something when we don’t pay attention to it. I don’t think it’s necessary for our salvation to practice Sabbath. Like I said before, Christ’s work on the cross, He fulfilled all those laws. He fulfilled everything. So He is our true Sabbath rest when it comes to salvation. But I think there’s something beautiful in that–the fact that it is woven into the very structure of time in this space that we occupy.
[00:50:44.540] – Sherrie
It was part of his seven days, right? When He’s creating everything He works the first six, creates man, and invites man into rest. That’s the first thing man gets to do.
[00:50:53.340] – Rachel
And He invites him into rest with Him. It’s not just like, okay, I’ve created this for you. I’ve given you the space to rest. Here, I’ve created this for you. Now let’s rest together.
[00:51:04.540] – Rachel
Let’s work together. Let’s rest together. Let’s work together. Let’s rest together. So that truly becomes your work. You work in order to rest and then out of your rest you work some more. And it’s this beautiful cyclical loop of work, rest, work, rest … with God.
[00:51:20.260] – Sherrie
In my time of being with the Lord, it does clear your mind, frees up your heart, and you get to see when God’s changing direction or looking at something new, inviting something new into what He’s been doing already. And that’s key, because I miss that sometimes because I am headlong into what I just know He was telling me to do, and I miss that He’s turned. Have you had that experience where you pick up on something that, oh, wait, Lord.
[00:51:46.670] – Rachel
Oh, my goodness. Yes. Even the fact that I’m talking to you about Sabbath today, that was, like, not on my radar at all. I wanted to be a fiction writer, and God is now having me write nonfiction and creating– I published this guided journal, like, that was never on my radar. Never something I thought I would do. And now He’s saying to me, I want you to share this message of my Sabbath rest with other burnt-out Christian moms, right? That was so not on my radar.
[00:52:14.570] – Rachel
And it took me a while. It actually–it was very funny because I was in a coaching call with my business coach, and I was talking about one thing, and I was, like, I was, like, struggling and rambling, and he just kind of stopped me one second. He asked me the question, he’s like, wait, do you not want to talk about Sabbath? You have this thing that you just made. I’m like, oh, no, I want to talk about it. And he’s like, I guess I’m not seeing the problem here, Rachel.
[00:52:42.410] – Rachel
I was, like, what? So then I went back to–during my Sabbath time that week, I was like, Lord, okay, what is going on here? What’s the deal? Because and I do think that God uses other people to reflect back to us some of the things that we need to hear from Him. And so in that moment, He used my business coach to be like, Rachel, you’re trying to go so hard this way, and I really need you to divert and go this way. And since doing that, since being obedient, I was like, okay, Lord, I guess I’m like, who am I to talk about this?
[00:53:11.290] – Rachel
I don’t have the theology degree. I’ve been practicing it for a few years with my family, but I’m like, I’m not super great at it. I I keep messing up, and He’s like, Well, that’s why it’s called a practice, Rachel, because you’re not gonna do it perfectly. I guess I was kind of fighting it for a bit, and it took a couple Sabbaths, actually, where we kept having this conversation. And I’m like, I don’t feel qualified or equipped to talk about this at all. And God just kind of reminded me, it’s not really my message.
[00:53:40.650] – Rachel
I’m just a person to share it. That it’s ultimately His work that I’m doing. And I just need to be obedient. It’s not about what I’m qualified to do, not to. I just need to be obedient. And so I started being obedient. And He has opened up doors, and He has allowed me to speak into the lives of some really burnt out, exhausted moms. And that has been such a beautiful thing to be a part of, to see a mom who is just at that breaking point and me be able to say to her, you’re not adding anything to your schedule.
[00:54:15.220] – Rachel
You’re allowing space for God to be with you. You’re allowing space to just sit and rest with Him and let Him just just comfort you and give you peace. And there’s something really valuable in that. And they have started practicing it. And they’ve come back to me and say, like, it’s now one of their favorite days of the week, and I’m like, that’s not me, that’s God. I just feel so privileged to be part of that work. And if I didn’t give myself space to listen to Him, I would have missed out on being part of that.
[00:54:48.280] – Sherrie
I am impressed with this one thing with the Lord that He does have an adventurous plan. This plan, we don’t even know it’s going to light us up and get us passionate about what we’re doing. And if we tune into Him, we get to witness what He’s doing. Like, we get a front row seat to what He’s doing. And He gives us like a VIP ticket because we experience what He wants to do and how He wants to affect people. Like you’re saying, it’s so rewarding to see this overwhelmed mom put some lightness in her heart or light in her eyes or a lighter heart over her schedule.
[00:55:25.860] – Rachel
Yes. And you know, the one thing that I noticed so many moms have said to me, they’re like, I just feel so selfish, like rest feels selfish to me, because who am I take time away from my family. And I’m, like, hold up. That’s not God’s desire for you either. God isn’t wanting you to escape your life. He’s not wanting you to run away from it. He wants you to live it in a way that it brings life and joy and gives space and margin to your week.
[00:55:52.570] – Rachel
And so when we talk about it that way, when we talk about structuring it in a way that the whole family finds rest because that’s truly God’s desire. When you look at what He talks about in Exodus, He’s talking about the whole family gathering mana together. It’s not just like one person doing all the work. It’s the whole family working together to do this thing and resting together. And I just think that’s such a beautiful picture, and I think it takes the burden off of this burden that the mom has put on herself to care for everybody and reminds her that ultimately God’s the one caring for her family.
[00:56:24.760] – Rachel
But it also allows her to see that God has given her permission to rest just as much as He’s given her husband and her kids. And He’s also given her a plan to do it. And now He’s just inviting her in. She doesn’t have to figure anything out. He’s already given it to her.
[00:56:38.020] – Sherrie
Such a significant point to make, because I can see moms not wanting to take time out for themselves, but what a beautiful service she’s doing to them, to draw them in to rest as well. What a benefit to that family.
[00:56:52.650] – Rachel
And who’s going to teach her kids how to rest other than her, right? If we just continue going full fledge the way that we are, we’re going to have another generation that’s just burnt out, if not more burnt out than us because they won’t know how to rest either.
[00:57:07.280] – Sherrie
I agree. Backing up just a little bit. Tell me about the belonging portion of this Sabbath. What has God spoken to you about belonging, belonging to Him?
[00:57:16.380] – Rachel
Specifically when I think about belonging it’s both belonging to Him, but it’s belonging in community. I do believe God’s designed us for community. Communion with Him and communion with others. And that’s why I think reconnection with God and with each other needs to be a key component of Sabbath. But what He’s really shown me about community is that people are in our lives for specific reasons, some for specific times, and He moves them in and out of our lives. I think that I had carried on my shoulders a burden to perform, for lack of a better word, to make sure I was doing all the right things so that people would stay in community with me. And when they would leave the community with me for whatever reason, some that I don’t even fully understand because we don’t always understand what’s going on in somebody’s life.
[00:58:15.090] – Rachel
Oftentimes I would internalize it as something being wrong with me. And so God had to really pull back that layer and remind me that not everything is about me, that I can’t internalize it. And that really, I think the key thing that came out of that, out of the last couple of years asking this question about belonging with Him, is Him just really saying to me I –that verse where it talks about giving and taking away– the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the Lord. I think that’s not necessarily just about loss.
[00:58:53.280] – Rachel
I think it’s even, I guess you could call it loss, but I think it’s even in our relationships where people are still living, there is a loss of relationship when they move out of relationship with us. But I think what God really stressed to me was that He’s ultimately the one overseeing that, and He’s ultimately the one bringing people into our lives and taking people out of our lives for His purposes and for His glory. And sometimes that’s to protect us. Sometimes that’s because those people aren’t necessarily the right ones to move us in the next season of life.
[00:59:31.930] – Rachel
And sometimes that is just because for reasons we don’t even know. And in understanding that and understanding that He is the one ultimately in charge of my community, that all that I was responsible for was to put myself out there and to be intentional with the people He brought to mind and to love and value individuals in my life. Then it took the burden off to perform or be good enough or to convince others to be in community with me.
[01:00:05.780] – Sherrie
I hear you keep saying a word. It took the burden off of me. That’s huge freedom when you’re not performing, when you’re not fearful about what other people are thinking of you, when you now understand that God is taking people, positions, roles, He gives and He takes. So you get to focus on the heart of God while He moves and rearranges things as you go.
[01:00:32.820] – Rachel
So what I’ve moved to now is every couple months I ask God, who do You want me to focus on building an intentional relationship with for this season? That’s been very interesting. I have met more people in the last two years just through different online communities that I’ve become a part of and developed some very, very cool relationships and very unique situations that I never would have if I was so focused over here. I was spending so much energy with some friendships I had and still care deeply about them.
[01:01:10.210] – Rachel
But God moved us. Those friendships that I talked about earlier that I felt kind of abandoned by, I was spending a lot of energy worrying about those relationships, and I’m not going to sugar coat it and say that it’s easy to be like, okay, God moves people out of our lives. It still doesn’t stop hurting when it happens. It still does when you’re like I kind of thought … But I do think that having that burden lifted off and knowing that it’s ultimately God’s responsibility, that He has a plan and a vision for my life.
[01:01:42.820] – Rachel
And I really, truly just need to walk in obedience and trust His faithfulness, trust His goodness, trust in who He is not what He does. That’s where I think it lessens the sting a little bit when it does happen.
[01:01:58.380] – Sherrie
For me, when I know it’s in His hands and it’s up to Him, again like you stated, it’s not easy, but there’s comfort. There’s peace in that process of that stripping away or that having to lay down your expectations and then listen to God leading in a different direction, different than what you imagined that it would be or where you were going. What are some of the challenges that you face when you’re trying to keep the Sabbath in place?
[01:02:24.820] – Rachel
I think that one of the challenges is that fear that you’re not going to get everything done. It’s the fear that if I take this break is this and this and this going to pile up, and am I going to be overwhelmed by that the following week? I do think that when you start practicing the Sabbath and you take that intentional 24 hours, you start to see where you’re overburdened. You start to see where your life maybe doesn’t have enough margin. And it becomes very clear. If you’re in prayer with the Lord and you’re asking Him to direct your steps, I think when you take that break and you realize, okay, I’ve only got six days to do the things I need to do. Maybe I have too much in here.
[01:03:07.890] – Rachel
Maybe I said, yes to too many things. What are our priorities for the season that we’re in? What are the things that we need to do that God is asking us to do? Where do we need to be obedient? I think it’s very easy for us to look at our week in our own strength, and we look at it and say, oh, this is all I’m capable of.
[01:03:29.260] – Rachel
But what I have found is that when we start operating in what God’s original design for work and rest is, that you’re actually able to do more than you think you can. And so fighting against that fear and just trusting in God’s character that He knows best when it comes to that whole work/rest balance and that He’s designed you to operate in that design. I was talking to somebody about this and she said, Well, it makes sense. She’s like, if you have an electronic that you don’t fully charge up, it can’t function to its full capability.
[01:04:08.660] – Rachel
It’s going to die out a lot sooner than it’s supposed to. But if you let it charge up all the way, it’s going to operate at full capacity for the full amount of time it’s supposed to operate. And I thought, oh, that’s such a good picture of what I’m talking about. So trusting in that and not letting that fear of, oh, my gosh. I’ve got so much to do get in the way of it.
[01:04:27.860] – Sherrie
That’s relinquishing control and that’s hard for people. I won’t look at myself when I say that. I won’t point my finger myself.
[01:04:34.690] – Rachel
I struggle with it. I will be the first to raise my hand and be, like, that’s mine!
[01:04:38.680] – Sherrie
It sounds like it’s always a fight between the doing and the being. And even if we invest more in the being, God, like, we give God 20 minutes, read the Bible verse or praying or whatever, and He makes it 20 hours worth of investment for us. So that primary focus on the being makes the doing so much lighter and freer and productive.
[01:05:02.300] – Rachel
Yes, I agree. I totally one hundred percent believe that.
[01:05:06.430] – Sherrie
Are there any exceptions to trying to keep the Sabbath in place? Do you make any exceptions?
[01:05:13.080] – Rachel
We do because I don’t think it’s central to my salvation. I don’t think I’m going to lose my salvation if I don’t practice Sabbath. Because of that, we look at it– we don’t live in a culture that is set up for Sabbath, right. And because of that, there are celebrations that happen on what we typically would consider as Sabbath. So weddings typically happen on Saturday. That’s typically when we Sabbath. So in those situations, what we do is we either reschedule to maybe do Friday to Saturday or we might do Thursday to Friday.
[01:05:48.690] – Rachel
It all just depends on what that week looks like. But sometimes we can’t reschedule the whole 24 hours. And in those moments we have to ask ourselves, like, is this celebration a moment to reconnect with somebody else? Maybe it’s a mind shift in saying to ourselves, wait, a celebration might actually be Sabbath-ing. Like that whole idea of, like, what exactly is work? I think work is when we’re cultivating. When we’re creating, when we’re working to work towards something. I think a celebration fits right into Sabbath.
[01:06:26.700] – Rachel
And so sometimes we just consider that part of our Sabbath. Other things, we might switch our Sabbath around, depending on season to season. Sometimes we’ve done, like, noon on Saturday to noon on Sunday. Sometimes we have done Friday to Saturday. We most squarely fall into the Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon seems to be what works best for our family. But I do know people who work on the weekend, and so their Sabbath is Monday to –especially people who are working in the church. So like that’s their big work weekend is the weekend.
[01:07:00.900] – Rachel
And so they Sabbath Monday to Tuesday or all day Monday. I think there’s something really wise about that, about seeing that, unfortunately, we don’t live in a culture that everything stops all at the same time. I think that would be such a cool thing to experience. One day I hope to go to Israel and actually get to experience that firsthand. We have to figure out what works in our culture. Our early Church fathers dealt with this, like, they were wrestling with this concept of, like, what do these rituals and practices that we’ve had for so long, what does this look like when new cultures are coming in to the Church?
[01:07:39.800] – Rachel
And how could those look like in those new cultures? And I think this is something that we, as a Church, have wrestled with over centuries. And I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to Sabbath. I think that we have to figure out what points us back to God for 24 hours and allows us to just be with Him.
[01:07:59.900] – Sherrie
When you were talking, I was thinking, in the New Testament after Christ had come, was crucified, buried, rose again, we have the ability to be creative with our Sabbath in the sense that it’s not legalistic with Him. He’s open to like you’re saying, the focus is to put focused time on Him, specific, purposeful time on Him and with Him.
[01:08:21.300] – Rachel
I think that what God gave the Israelites in the things that He asked them to do, I think He gave them responsibility even more so than a law. And I know I’m using it very loosely, and I know I’m not a theologian that studied this. But when I look at the law and I look at the different ceremonial observances He asked of them, what I see is this huge responsibility that He gave this one particular nation to reflect His glory in such a way that it was obvious that they belong to Him.
[01:08:57.220] – Rachel
So that when the Messiah came from that nation, there was no mistaking it, right. And I just see that such this beautiful responsibility they had. And I know that it got twisted and it has become legalistic. And I know that even within the Christian faith, the Puritans and such, they twisted it and made it very legalistic. But I just see how beautiful the responsibility they had to truly reflect what He had designed for us. And I think that we have that opportunity too as adopted sons and daughters into His family to truly carry that responsibility of reflecting His glory in both work and in rest.
[01:09:38.000] – Sherrie
Tell us a little bit more about your book because I want to be able to leave the links and whatnot in the show notes so that the listeners can find it right away. What’s the most important thing that you want them to take away from your book?
[01:09:50.100] – Rachel
I want them to be able to take away kind of a structure for how to implement rest into their week. It’s a twelve-week guided Journal. The beginning of the week has a small devotion to get you started thinking on these questions of identity, purpose, and belonging. And then each day has just a simple question to further reflect on and then a space to write down things that are on your mind and people that are on your mind so that you can rest them at the feet of Jesus.
[01:10:17.250] – Rachel
Every day, you’re doing a little bit of reflecting and a little bit of resting, and it all culminates on day seven, where you would spend an hour really, truly sitting and reflecting and just being with Jesus and letting Him speak to you about your week. And that’s what the day seven, it gives you a little bit more space to do that. It gives you more questions to use if you need them and the ability to really ponder during that time. And then it gives you a space to put down more prayer requests and write the ones that He’s answered that week like to reflect on oh, wow, God actually answered this message is prayer already.
[01:10:52.620] – Rachel
And then it closes with a Sabbath prayer to just point you back to Jesus, to point you back to the fact that He’s there with you. It just creates this natural rhythm of rest and reflection throughout your week. If you just follow it the way that it’s structured, and then what I love is that women who have been using the book, they do that, and then they’ve been able to start 24 hours Sabbath, or they just say, hey, you know what? I love this reflection piece. I’m going to set aside this time once a week and they don’t necessarily need your journal anymore. I just know how to do it now. And so that’s really cool too.
[01:11:27.060] – Sherrie
What a great tool. I’m looking forward getting that book myself.
[01:11:29.830] – Speaker 1
It’s called Rest and Reflect: A Twelve-Week Guided Sabbath Journal. And if you go to my website, RachelFahrenbach.com/journal, you can actually download the first chapter for free. If you want to check it out and see how it’s set up. If you want to purchase it, you can find it on Amazon.
[01:11:46.340] – Sherrie
Beautiful. I’ll make sure the link is in the show notes. Before we part, what is one thing that the listeners must know?
[01:11:53.760] – Rachel
I think that I want those listening to us to know, most importantly, if you are feeling burnt out and exhausted, you are not alone. You are not alone. There are–and don’t feel like you’re the only one that feels like they’re exhausted right now, that you’re doing something wrong, you have to be doing something wrong because it’s so hard. This life is hard. There’s very beautiful moments to it because of the grace of God. But it’s still a hard life and there’s still hard moments. But just know that God wants and desires a relationship with you.
[01:12:35.800] – Rachel
He wants to give you that. He wants to to give you His rest, to give you a restored peace and a restored vision for your life. And I just want you to know that He is there with you. You are not alone, and you can seek Him and you will find Him. And He wants to sit across from you and have that intimate conversation with you and to tend to your soul in a way that restores peace and joy.
[01:13:05.060] – Sherrie
What a beautiful revelation and tool your book that you have brought to my listeners today. Thank you, Rachel. I deeply appreciate you.
[01:13:12.540] – Rachel
Thank you for asking me to come on and letting me share with you. I appreciate it.
[01:13:45.220] – Sherrie
Thank you for your time and for sharing this experience with my guest. I hope you have found encouragement for today and a deeper revelation of God’s heart in the midst of pain and suffering. We’d love to have you as a subscriber to Finding God in Our Pain so that you can be connected with all my guests, as they share their personal experiences and professional knowledge about pain and suffering. And because this podcast is a division of the website A Life of Thrive, for more information and the various ways you can connect with us, please visit the website, ALifeofThrive.com.
[01:14:05.110] – Sherrie
I look forward to sharing more transparent stories from the hearts of women who intimately know what it means to have their world flipped upside down, their authentic struggle to make sense of it, and what recovery and healing looks like. Till then, sweet woman, remember, you are not alone and that God speaks the most beautiful things in the dark.
