I recently entertained myself by reflecting on how much life is like a board game. Several months before my father’s cancer diagnosis and final passing, my sister and I were able to play one of his board games with him. Dad explained the rules upfront, but then he would remember new things to tell us once we actually began playing the game.
At times Dad would tell us one rule, then check the official game rules and readjust what he had shared. I’d be working on a strategy, but when Dad would adjust the rules by remembering to tell us something else about the game, I would have to adjust my strategy.
As we received more clarity about the parameters of the game, my sister and I became more and more confident about the type of decisions we needed to make in order to hit the mark. While we knew the goal was to be victorious, the rules guided our decisions. How to reach the goal became clearer and intentional choices transformed our weak strategies once we understood the rules.
I’ve never had a problem with there being only one winner or one winning team. I don’t see competition as a bad thing, and I actually enjoy some (clean) verbal sparring. To me, there’s nothing wrong with giving it your best shot, having some fun along the way, and not getting the win you intended.
Coming in second is an easier pill to swallow than playing with someone who wants to change the rules as you go or makes special exceptions “this time” in order to gain an advantage.
If there’s a player who is too intense on winning at the expense of the relationships around them, the game becomes one of pride rather than strategy and skill. But, hey, there’s nothing like a board game to bring out the value systems and character flaws of those at the table!
People sit down to play a well-known game with different experiences that include variations of the rules. They have expectations and assumptions associated with the game. Unless the rules are clarified prior to the start, they will play the game with the rules they are familiar with. Variations of the rules by the players result in utter chaos, confusion, and strife.
The focus of the game changes to proving who’s right and who’s wrong. Players often accomplish nothing more than becoming so frustrated with each other that they begin to exchange careless words, which can lead to fracturing or breaking relationships and commitments. Disunity results when effective communication dies. No connection, no progress, no common goal.
Put the official rule sheet down on the table for everyone to read, and order enters the picture. Everyone has an understanding of what is expected and can make their contribution to the effort. Additionally, everyone can decide if they want to participate in supporting the stated goal.
No matter the relationship dynamic that pulls up to the table of life, be it between two people, a family, neighborhood, community, etc., a clear comprehension of the rules will equip everyone who is invested in the outcome to understand how to make respectful, kind, considerate, beneficial contributions.
Can you see how life is like a board game? When it comes to having common goals and striving for success to reach those goals, communication is the key to connection and clarity and lends itself to formulating strategy for the purpose of progress, building relationships, problem solving, and learning to graciously win as well as humbly lose.
And can you see how life is like a board game with regard to chaos, confusion, assumptions, and expectations? What about outcomes based on a lack of communication, frustration with other players, and becoming more focused on who is right and who is wrong?
Life is like a board game when it comes to finding a spouse. Can you see the importance of being sure each has a clear understanding of the other’s personal value system? Nothing challenges a relationship more than two people trying to be unified while bringing two completely different expectations and experiences into the equation. You can’t discover someone’s rules for life until you take the time to ask some important questions.
I’m not saying we need to lay out a laundry list of demands but that we stay clear about who we are and what we value. When we adjust our standards along the way in hopes of finding an advantage or becoming more appealing to someone, we’re bending the rules at best.
Truth be told, if we’re constantly adjusting who we are to please someone else, we may never be able to return to the person we really are. Attempts at being the real you will be perceived as a change in the rules and might be considered a deal breaker. Be it uncontested rules or contested rules that are not mutually adjusted, we participate in a value system. Never having been true to our value system, we are merely a false advertisement.
The good news about Christ and the parameters He’s given us are that His instructions for life produce the ongoing result of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. His presence brings peace to every tragedy and a redemptive value to every single self-motivated strategy, decision, or action we could possibly think or do.
He’s the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, so He’s not changing standards, flipping direction, or jockeying for an advantage with you. His truths do not change; they are as steadfast as He.
Everything about Him is for our good and His glory. He owes us nothing, and yet He withholds no good thing from us. His rules create love in the midst of evil, hope despite pain, value in unworthiness, His presence in depression and loneliness.
We deserve hell, but He extravagantly and abundantly pours into us every part of Himself. It is all about Him, and yet He makes it all about us. And the full exquisite value of the prize of eternal life with Him … we have no context to even begin to imagine.
Isn’t it the desire of every heart to be fully known yet completely loved? Only the Triune God of the Holy Bible is capable of knowing our every thought and deed and He alone not only possesses what is required to cover our brokenness but the power to redeem it as well.
Self-Reflection
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take the truths you discover about yourself and hold them up to the Light to evaluate them against who God says you are.
- What most resonated with you about the connection between life and a board game? Why?
- Can you think of other ways a game overlays life? Explain.
- Whose rules have you been playing by?
- Whose rules have authority in your life?
- Do rules have value/serve a purpose?
- Do rules cause harm?
- What prize in life is your heart pursuing?
- What are you pouring yourself out for hoping to gain?
Take Action
Use God’s Word to take control over the traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises in His Word.
Here is a scripture for you to print, cut and carry with you and/or post in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is what God’s Word says about His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:
“Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16
Source: https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Commandments-Of-Christ
Translation: Your light (love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control) is a beacon in the darkness. It stands out in the midst of cruel comments, shallow value systems, and empty relationships. Your contribution, created by the rules you align yourself with, looks different to the world. Your actions point to the One whose standard for living in this existence brings order, peace, love, and the most amazing end result … eternal life in His presence.
