No Wrong Answers

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.”—Psalm 34:8

Have you ever been at a crossroads and desperately wanted to know the right way to go? You question your options and you genuinely don’t have the answers. Should you go with the riskier option that, if you’re right, would result in the better payoff? Or should you be more practical and take a stand, even though this decision will be harder to walk out?

Maybe you’re just tired of making the wrong decision. The consequences are never what you expected. I’ve been faced many times with tough decisions and wanted to scream when I couldn’t see the right way out.

Doing the right thing has been deeply embedded in me from childhood—but not because it was the wise thing to do. It was a survival skill. In my childhood home, there was hell to pay if you messed up. That thought pattern continues to raise its ugly head, especially when my future is unchartered water.

Countless times I have asked God to send someone with the right answer. I’ve asked Him to speak so I could hear/understand Him or to walk into the room Himself and deliver the right answer. I tell Him I will do whatever He says because I’m desperate for the answer that will ensure the best result. And who if not Him, knows the future?

I’m especially desperate for His input as I walk out my new normal. There are so many decisions to make that affect my future. I tell Him I don’t have much time left on this side of heaven, so I need direct answers and shortcuts.

As of late, His most consistent answer to me has been “What do you want to do?”

I tell Him, “I’m not sure, that’s why I’m asking You. I don’t trust myself with this one. I want what You want because You have shown Yourself faithful and trustworthy. You know me better than I know myself.”

To which I hear, “Exactly.”

“What, Lord? You’re confusing me. I’m coming to You because I’m already confused.”

“Sherrie, with Me there is no wrong answer.”

He knows He just set off some pretty significant triggers that have been ingrained in my being. Real life childhood examples say otherwise. That belief system has carried over into my adult life and perpetuated that same way of thinking. I hear the voices, “Are you really that dumb? Can you really be that stupid? Why must I do everything for you, if it’s going to be done right?”

So rather than meet His extravagant offer for freedom in my choices, terror creeps in. I can feel His smile because He’s setting me up.

And then I’m flooded with memories of God’s Word and how Jesus has been flipping tables and belief systems for thousands and thousands of years. He loves to challenge my false belief system. Why? Because there is freedom waiting for me if I choose to accept the challenge.

I’m being set up for sure, but this set up is based on His love for me. He’s offering me a new level of freedom–a completely different way of interacting with my world and my choices.

This may sound strange, but on a daily basis I taste and know in small ways that He is good. He smiles. Sometimes when I’m driving, I’ll get in one lane knowing full well I will need to change lanes to take the exit or turn. I tell Him, “Daddy, thank You for making room for me.” He ALWAYS does. I smile.

Small as they are, those interactions are the training ground. They’re small, but they’re powerful enough to rewrite my belief system on who I am to Him, as well as who He is to me.

I’m trusting Him for small things, and now I’m ready to trust Him with big things (even though they’re not big to Him). My future is uncertain. Not that I exactly knew my future before my husband’s death, but the simple fact that it included him gave it shape, purpose, direction. The future seems completely unknown without him.

There is peace in knowing God is interested, invested, and engaged in me and my future. He has my back, and there is nothing I can do that would be so bad that He won’t help me. More than help me, He redeems my past by giving it purpose, using it as my training ground. He calls me into the future He has for me.

He doesn’t see me as dumb, stupid, or incapable. He calls me exquisite. I love that He sees me that way even at this stage of my life. He calls me into that beauty, and I want to embrace His description of me in every way—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

None of us will ever go so far that He won’t hear us call His name. And I love that He doesn’t wait for us to call Him; He’s always calling us! He’s calling you into a beautiful description of how He sees you through His Son, Jesus. He has a name for you that no one else knows. He is deeply, madly, crazy in love with you. Talk with God today, ask Him to tell/show you how much He loves you. Then declare that you will see evidence of His love for you!

NOW LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!

Self-reflection

These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.

This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take the truths you discover about yourself and hold them up to the Light to evaluate them against who God says you are.

• How do you deal with difficult decisions?
• Does that process benefit you? Explain.
• Is there anything you could/should change about the process you use?
• Is it difficult for you to believe there are no wrong answers with God?
• With regard to making bad decisions, what is your particular belief system (i.e., you should be punished, there is grace, etc.)?
• Name one difficult decision in which you were happy with the outcome and why.
• Name one difficult decision in which you were disappointed with the outcome and why.

Make a list of the bad decisions that still haunt you to this day. Then spend some time with God and share your heart with Him. Take time to listen, journal anything you hear, impressions you feel. Put a big fat X through the ones God releases you from and seek Him out (prayer time, read His word, sing worship music) for further healing for the ones you still struggle with. Ask God to show you what lie you are believing and then invite Him to transform your life by overwriting that lie with His truth. 

Talk to God about your answers. Give Him praise, ask Him questions and then listen for His gentle response.

Take Action

Use God’s word to take control over the traumas in your life.  Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises in His word.

Here is a scripture for you to print, cut and carry with you and/or post in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!

Here is what God’s word says about His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.—Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

Read God’s word and say to yourself: God invites me to see if He is the real deal. He invites me to discover who He is and what I mean to Him. God loves to challenge my belief systems, so He can show me what I mean to Him and the freedom that He has for me. There is comfort in Him because He is true.