“How precious is your unfailing love, O God!”—Psalm 36:7 (NIV)
What do you think it means to love well? There are many ways to express our heart for others, but I think it boils down to being able to make people feel heard and understood. Not that we have to agree with them entirely, but rather that once we express an interest in them and hear their viewpoints, we can then understand their thought processes on matters.
How do we make people feel heard and understood? It’s engaging people with kindness and helping when possible, even if it is something as simple as holding a door open or offering a smile in passing. When we have the opportunity to connect with someone, we should make every effort to be fully present, unhurried, and focus on them specifically. Elevate one-on-one time as a chance to grow deeper in relationship by means of actual face time, talking, listening, and questioning for clarity.
I’m guilty of rushing meals and conversations by having my mind a couple of errands ahead of where I am in my day. As a result, I miss important things I should catch, such as being overcharged or buying something I only remember intending to look at. I’ve even gotten to the point where I talk-text a lot for text messages and emails. Embarrassingly enough, now when I leave a voicemail for someone, I find myself punctuating the message. People must think I’m a nut when they hear me verbally add punctuation to a voicemail. Can you imagine hearing me say “period,” “exclamation point,” or LOL.? Clearly my mind is not engaged with the actual task at hand.
I want to value relationships at their full worth, but I miss the mark every day. When my mind is constantly running ahead by two or three errands on my to-do list, I get delayed revelations that I missed the perfect opportunity to make a difference in someone’s day. Simple exchanges that could become so much more like the elderly man in Home Depot who thought my cart was his. Rather than simply take my two small items out of my cart and say I’m sorry, I gently said, “No sir, this one is mine.” I hate when I miss that chance to be kind to someone, but it happens more often than I care to think about.
Making an earnest effort to build relationships is never wasted. Even if your concern for another or acts of kindness are rejected, they remain seeds of love that you spread along the daily path you walk. Just because someone is not able to see the beauty of your gesture does not mean you should stop making a difference with one random act of kindness after another.
As a grandmother I am reaping what I invested in my two sons. I am living in the reward of their good choices. I enjoy watching them love on their families and watching them display wisdom in their daily lives. I remember the days that seemed to be a back-to-back blur of one responsibility after another, but I would put down my wash or leave my dishes in the sink, make time to sit in the floor or put that puzzle together, or leave the radio off in the car so they’d talk.
I have a friend who is intentional with her five children. She looks for spontaneous ways and planned time to add fun into the process of day-to-day life. She is keen to the fact that the moving parts of childrearing can engulf each day and easily become the focus. After all, she wants healthy, loving, kind, responsible children who contribute to society. But she also knows that children who will achieve these things are children who have parents who invest in them as individuals, who will see them, hear them, believe in them, and know them intimately.
God knows us with the intimacy and detail of a Father who is deeply, wild, crazy in love with His children. He does not punish. He corrects, and He’s gentle when He does so. He has a standard for us to follow, but when we choose disobedience, He waits patiently for us to return to the safety of His plan. He has an amazing purpose for our lives, but He never gets upset with us when we wander off doing something else. He allows us to choose whether or not we want Him as our Father. When we choose Him, we get to live a life of discovery, joy, and companionship, along with a peace that surpasses our earthly understanding when we’re faced with heartbreak.
For the relationships you have chosen to invest in, make it a point to discover the heart of those people. When we value our relationships and treat them as such, we earn the right to speak honestly into people’s lives. What’s that old saying … People will never care how much you know until they know how much you care.
NOW LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take what you discover and hold it up to the Light to evaluate it against who God says you are.
- How often do you spend one-on-none time with people you want to build relationships with?
- What makes you feel valued?
- What makes you feel like you matter?
- What is your love language? (Words of Affirmation; Acts of Service; Physical Touch; Quality Time; Gifts)
- List the family and friends in your inner circle. By each name, list the following:
- Date of birth
- Character trait (i.e. honest, patient, etc.)
- The religion they practice
- The political party they support
- What motivates them
- What disappoints/frustrates them
- Strength
- What is their love language?
Use God’s word to take control over traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts, take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises found in His word.
Print, then cut and carry this Scripture with you and/or post it in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is what God’s word says to encourage you and to give you an example of His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:
“How precious is your unfailing love, O God!”—Psalm 36:7 (NIV)
When you read God’s Word say to yourself: God’s love for me is endearing, immovable, unchangeable, never ending, unconditional, protective and faithful just to name a few examples.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
