However, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”— the things God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 (NIV)
Life is full of transitions, each one shaping us in new ways and preparing us for the next one to come. Remember your first double-digit birthday? From that day on and with each passing year, you have been given new responsibilities. What was the first day of school like? Then middle school, high school, and maybe college? Your first job? First serious relationship, marriage, and then children?
As the days become weeks and morph into years, you are changing and experiencing life at its best and worst. You’re making decisions that shape your future, and they’re all impacted by the way you react or respond to transitions, both the ones you choose as well as the ones that are forced on you.
People told me that getting married would change my life. I wondered how two little words could make that big a difference. But they did! It was such an amazing thing to have someone by my side to share life with. Yet it was tough because before marriage my only concern was what was best for me. Now I had to think of what was best for us.
Another major transition for me was the moment I held each of my sons. I never knew such a love existed and that it could be multiplied! I knew in an instant that I would not hesitate to lay down my life for these amazing, tiny people. In that single moment of looking into their precious faces, I knew they could never do or say anything that would dim my love for them.
As my sons grew, one of the things I tried to impress on them was that our house rules were not to spoil their fun but existed to keep them safe. As they got old enough to be out with their friends and out from under my direct influence, I reminded them that, If they made the choice to break our rules, they ran the risk of going beyond my ability to intervene.
If their consequences ended up being of a legal nature, they could potentially tie my hands as their parent. But I was quick to add, “I may not have any influence over your consequences, but I will hold your hand as you walk them out.”
Even today as my sons have both become husbands, one is going to be a father for the third time and very soon the other will be a first-time father, my love for them has never wavered. Through the challenging times when they made mistakes, I gave them grace as they learned to navigate life. I learned I could watch their reactions or simply look into their eyes to discern the difference between acts of disrespect vs lack of maturity. That way I’d know if a consequence had to take place or if this was a teachable moment to increase understanding.
Being able to compare my childhood experiences with those of my sons, taught me there was a difference between correction and abuse. I didn’t take their mistakes personally because I remembered how hard it was when I was growing up. I showed them mercy because, as their mother, I still didn’t have all the answers, so I knew I couldn’t expect them to know/make the right choice every single time.
The most important thing I ever learned from having children was how God sees me and how much He loves me. There is nothing my children could say or do that would turn me away from them or make me love them less. And God makes me feel that same way. In God’s faithfulness for me, I have never seen His shadow. His face has always been looking at me and His hand has always been outstretched toward me.
When I go beyond His safety rules, He shows me grace and mercy. He sees the intention of my heart and guides me based on who He has created me to be, not as the sinner that I am. During the times I have had to walk out consequences for my choices, He has always held my hand.
He’s been able to redeem every single bad choice I’ve made, as well as the bad things that happened to me at the hands of someone else. He has not failed to redeem or restore anything in my life.
He’s in love with us, and He’ll go to the ends of the earth to let us know.
I’m able to share my first hand experience because I purposefully look for Him and spend time with Him. Over and over I learn new depths of His heart for me. I have examples of His loving kindness towards me. And I have experienced how far, wide, and deep His great love is for me.
Even I, a person who can be self-centered and short on love and kindness, would not hesitate to lay down my life for my children. In God’s extravagant love for us He already laid down the life of His Son, Jesus Christ, for us. I’ll be transparent here and admit I can’t honestly say I’d be willing to lay down the life of my son for ungrateful, disrespectful, self-centered, know-it-all people. They don’t deserve the life of my son in exchange for a hope that they’d, at the very least, acknowledge his life.
We still have the privilege of making decisions and choices that will give us good and bad consequences. The most transformational choice we need to make will be where we want to spend eternity. If that one single decision is made with a genuine heart, then we’re free to live a life of no condemnation.
If we make good decisions, God celebrates us like an elated King for His daughter. If we make bad decisions, God is merciful to cover over our shortcomings and restore our hearts to peace.
He’s the Father who won’t just say He’d lay down His Son’s life for you, He already did with no guarantee that you’d actually choose Him in return.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take what you discover and hold it up to the Light to evaluate it against who God says you are.
- What type of transitions have you been through?
- What is/was the most difficult aspect of the transition?
- What did you learn about God in this time?
- Was this transition by your choice or was it forced upon you?
- What are some of your regrets during the transition?
- Are you hanging onto any self defeating talk?
- What life giving Bible verse can you use to replace this self-defeating attack?
- Every time your mind tries to invade your peace with lies, what truth will you use to quiet the attack? Testing the thoughts that enter your mind is when you compare them to who God says you are. In other words you are taking them captive to Christ when you identify a lie and cancel it out with the truth of who God says you are.
Use God’s word to take control over traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts, take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises found in His word.
Print, then cut and carry this Scripture with you and/or post it in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is what God’s word says to encourage you and to give you an example of His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:
However, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”— the things God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 (NIV)
When you read God’s word say to yourself: No one has ever seen, heard or come close to imagining what God has prepared for His beloved children who have chosen to love Him in return.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
