“Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and anointed us is God, who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge.” 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 (NIV)
When I got married I had no clue what the marital vows meant. I knew this pivotal moment was going to change my life, but I did not put much value on the oath that secured it. I only knew I needed to say those words in order to be officially married.
“… for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part …”
My husband and I were only a few months shy of celebrating 32 years of marriage before he suddenly passed away. In that time, I learned a lot about the oath I had taken. The biggest regret I have is that I wish I had expressed that vow at an even deeper level of reflecting God’s heart for sacrificial acts of service.
For better, or worse … not until I feel like I’m not getting my needs met. For richer or poorer … not until we aren’t able to buy the material things I feel we should have. In sickness and in health … not until you can no longer care for yourself. To love and to cherish … not until I no longer feel in love. Till death do us part … not until I think there is someone better.
To date, I have found this to be the most difficult commitment I have ever made. It’s a vow that completely wipes out any option of using my emotions to regulate my wants and/or needs. My emotions must be filtered through the heart of God, because He wants marriage to reflect the union He shares with His Son, Jesus and Holy Spirit. We are called to bend our will so that we give the world a glimpse of the beauty and love of a committed relationship.
As my husband and I grew older together and gained wisdom and in-depth perspectives on life, people, love, and relationships, we matured into our understanding of what it means to be husband and wife, mistakes and all. We certainly did not have a perfect marriage, but I think we had a typical one. After all, the truth is we were two imperfect people trying to discover the heart of God while living a real life and striving to share pain and double our joy.
When I said I do to my husband, I really didn’t understand what I was agreeing to, but I was willing to learn. When I chose to ask Christ into my heart, I, again, had no clue what I was in for, but I was willing to learn.
At the moment we make what Christ did on the cross personal to us, we are accepting a marriage proposal. Christ is constantly pursuing us, and when we accept what He did on the cross as something He did for each of us as individuals, Christ deposits something very precious into our spirits. He places His spirit in each of us to tell everyone that you are spoken for, that you belong to Him, and that one day He will come to take you to the mansion He has prepared for you.
That deposit of the Holy Spirit is what begins to transform who you are. It was a conscious decision to choose Christ and the transformation is a daily decision to choose His ways over what is easier to accommodate. Without the transforming power of His Spirit you are helpless to make the changes necessary to experience His peace, rest, and the ability to overcome all that desires to destroy you.
When He speaks for us and calls us His own, He gives us His oath to never leave nor forsake us. He’s the only One who can back up His pledge of eternal love. It does not depend on us.
If you did not spend time with your husband, it is safe to say you would struggle to maintain your relationship. Growing apart is easy; staying connected and communicating is a challenge. It is the same with Christ. If you want to grow close to the One who calls you His own, the One whose shadow you will never see, then you’ll need to spend time with Him. Talk with Him and learn to hear His voice. Learning His heart for you takes time. The commitment level is the same as investing in a marriage except you can never do anything that will upset or anger Christ. His love for you is unconditional.
Just like the ebb and flow of marriage, chasing the heart of God is not a perfect process. You’ll make plenty of mistakes, and you’ll need do-overs. Rest easy though, because God of the Holy Bible is the God of grace and mercy. He forgives, forgets, strengthens, and encourages you every day. He sees you for who He created you to be and not by the markings of this world. Christ is a good Daddy, because each day you invest walking with Him is time on which He will joyfully double your return!
As time passes, you will mature in your understanding of who God is and who He says you are to Him. With a strong foundation and a clear understanding of who you are, He’ll begin to reveal to you the purpose of your life … what you’re created for!
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take what you discover and hold it up to the Light to evaluate it against who God says you are.
- Have you ever taken an oath or made a commitment? If so, what kind?
- What is/was the most difficult aspect of this oath?
- What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned?
- Do you think there are any similarities with regard to a marital relationship and a personal relationship with God? What are they?
- Is God a good husband?
- What is a toxic thought you have about marriage or your personal relationship with God?
- What life giving Bible verse can you use to replace this toxic thought with?
- Every time a toxic thought tries to destroy you remember to bring those thoughts into the light with words of life and truth. Testing the thoughts that enter your mind is when you compare them to who God says you are. In other words you are taking them captive to Christ to discern a lie. Toxic thoughts stay alive with fear and condemnation. But God encourages and gently corrects with conviction.
Use God’s word to take control over traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts, take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises found in His word.
Print, then cut and carry this Scripture with you and/or post it in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is what God’s word says to encourage you and to give you an example of His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:
“Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and anointed us is God, who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge.” 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 (NIV)
When you read God’s word say to yourself: God has pledged Himself to me. He has given me His Holy Spirit as proof that He calls me His own. He will guide me in all wisdom and one day He will return as my groom to take me, His bride to the mansion He has prepared for me!
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
