“Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.”—Proverbs 13:20 (NLT)
One aspect of being a mom is keeping an active eye on your children, not only for their safety but for their future. We constantly evaluate habits that are being formed, material and images that are imprinting their brains, and the friends they choose to hang around.
I used to say to my boys, “I didn’t make this up. It has been true since creation that whomever you choose to hang out with is who you will become.”
When we choose to continually be exposed to conditions, people, and value systems, we eventually embrace them. Don’t care if you get a diploma? Consistent employment not a priority? Then hang around those who are living that lifestyle.
What used to offend your sensibilities becomes more normal every day. That point where you knew you should draw the line blurs and begins to seem harmless. After all, you reason, these people aren’t terrible. And they’re probably not, but is this the life you want, the legacy you want to leave?
If you feel that owning your own business, conquering the world of banking, or raising a healthy, happy family are more satisfying accomplishments, then choose people that are crushing it in those areas. Spend time in places and with people who will challenge your way of thinking, bring you into a deeper understanding, or unlock possibilities you never imagined were available to you. Invest time in relationships with people who can mentor or lead you.
Here’s something else that is true (I didn’t make this up either, but I’ve seen it happen over and over throughout my life.): For some strange reason it is always easier to fall into places/habits that are not healthy or beneficial, but you’ll have to work at pursuing the goals and accomplishments you envision for your future.
Find out where the achievers hang out. Achievers are people who you feel are ahead of you. You can learn from them and grow in the specific way that you desire. Make the effort to connect with individuals/groups/clubs who contribute to your growth in the areas you’ve chosen. Social media is fantastic, but don’t make that your only method of connecting with people. Find likeminded people in your local area or start your own gathering place where you can position yourself in the midst of the resources you need.
My sons used to repeat a quote that said, “If he has what you want, he’s doing something you’re not.”
Invest in yourself and your future. Today, set aside some time to write a goal on paper. You must write it down. Don’t just let it float around in your head, only coming into your consciousness occasionally. Take fifteen minutes to capture a goal/dream/vision. Write it down, then choose an action that moves you in the direction of your goal. Perform this action every day until you graduate to the next natural action step. Continue the momentum no matter how small the progress.
Do not despise small beginnings, because the strength of a massive oak is found in the foundation … the root system. If you want to finish well, you must put value on the details because they create the foundation. They are the root system for any goal you put your hand, heart, and head behind.
Time will naturally pass. You can let it pass you by or you can be doing something. Even small tasks that build will collectively become big accomplishments. Before you know it, weeks, months, and then years will pass. You will look at your progress and be totally impressed with what you’ve accomplished and who you’ve become.
Your biggest cheerleader is Christ. He created you and gave you a purpose and a passion. He’s the One who does immeasurably more than all we ask or could imagine, and His power is alive and at work within us to accomplish all He has planned for us.
There is one other thing you need to do to in order to accomplish all you were created for. You may even need to work on this first, but, ideally, I want you to work on this task and the action steps (toward your goals) at the same time. Write down any toxic thoughts that keep you from taking the first step toward making your dreams come true. After you put the toxic thought on paper, pick a scripture that speaks truth into that lie. Put a huge X on the lie, and then write the scripture in an even bigger print on the same page. The goal is to replace that negative thought pattern with the truth of who God says you are.
Every time you have that toxic thought, immediately stop it from finishing and replace it with the truth of God’s Word. Say your scripture out loud. Say it as many times as it takes. Remind everything around you and especially your own heart of who He says you are and what you’re capable of through Him.
You can be absolutely anything you imagine, so make choices today that your future self will thank you for. And don’t forget to reach back and offer a helping hand to someone who needs your mentoring and leadership.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take what you discover and hold it up to the Light to evaluate it against who God says you are.
- Would you agree that God has a plan for your life and that you were born with a purpose?
- Do you know what your purpose is?
- If so, what are you doing to pursue it?
- If not, take a few minutes and ask God to show you what your purpose is. Get a piece of paper and write down anything you see, feel, or think. See if there are any similarities in what you’re experiencing. Keep talking with God and search His heart about what He has for you.
- Do you have a toxic thought (or thoughts) that you allow to constantly beat you down and keep you from having the courage to chase your dreams? If so, what is the one major thought that keeps you chained to where you are?
- Write a scripture that speaks of who you are to God and use it to break the thought pattern you have created. Every time you have that thought, replace it with the truth of God’s Word.
Use God’s word to take control over traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts, take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises found in His word.
Print, then cut and carry this Scripture with you and/or post it in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is what God’s word says to encourage you and to give you an example of His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:
“Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.”—Proverbs 13:20 (NLT)
When you read God’s word say to yourself: It matters who I choose to spend time with. It makes a difference to choose my friends wisely because they influence me. They represent where I’m headed. My choices will determine my future.
Every day I’m going to make choices that my future self will thank me for.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
