“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” Hebrews 4:12 (NLT)
I don’t think people are all that complex. I actually think we boil down to one simple core fear: Rejection. It’s a powerful motivator propelling us to quiet desperation with countless acts of escapism like drugs, alcohol, sex, self-mutilation, pornography, food, etc. Overindulgence allows us to feel something, anything, except alone.
It’s obvious to say we need to be looking for the opposite of loneliness, but do we really know what that is? Were you thinking companionship? We can spend a lot of time with people, things (think sports, technology, virtual worlds etc.), and pets, but is sitting in proximity of someone or going for long walks holding a leash enough?
In truth, the opposite of rejection and loneliness is not companionship for the sake of having someone nearby. The opposite of loneliness is love, to be loved and to love back.
We want to be talking, laughing, and going places together. We want to move from acquaintance into relationship. Be it brotherly, romantic, or godly love for people, we want our acquaintances to become healthy relationships.
Besides those who want to escape their reality, who would willingly choose to live in an altered state of mind, not conscious of their actions or choices? Who would volunteer to stifle their voice, unless they felt no one cared to listen? Who would give away their body with so little requirement in return, unless they thought it would fill their heart? A heart afraid of rejection, afraid of being alone, is seldom willing to define actions as crimes against its own mind and body.
Is it possible for a lonely heart to merely get by in the world? Take a look around. They’re everywhere, and most of them have great big smiles plastered on their faces. They’re functioning but have lost any hope of thriving. All their efforts to find companionship and love have been an endless experience of disappointment.
What if all we ever wanted was to be seen, heard, loved, to know we matter to someone? Doesn’t it take someONE to make a difference in our lives? What if I told you there is One who sees you, hears you, and loves you?
It’s great to find someone with whom you can share romantic love. It’s encouraging to find someone who can share a brotherly love, but it’s even better to find the highest form of love, agape love. It is the love God has for you and you can have for Him.
God never changes His thoughts about you. His unconditional love never waivers. No matter how and when He meets you, you’re the perfect you for Him. He won’t ask you to change to be lovable. But when you get to know Him deep down, His love will inspire you to love Him in return. You will never be the same.
You can experience a deep, abiding peace, trust in the midst of chaos, an ever-present, underlying feeling that no matter how painful this life can be, He’s right beside you. He cares. He’s listening. He’s catching every tear you shed. His unfailing love will create a desire and an ability to love deeper and trust openly. A personal, experiential relationship with Him will keep you grounded, even when your world is chaos around you.
You no longer have Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy to thank (they served the purpose of childhood pleasures). Now that you’re older, who can you thank for the opportunity to begin again, a new day, every day? He washes you clean every day and shares His Word to encourage you for the new day ahead. His mercies are new every morning, piled high, warm, and comforting.
The only way to grow closer to God is to take your fears and lay them at His feet. When you lay down your fears, you’ll need to pick up God’s Word, the double-edged sword. It is alive and active, and it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow.
Every time a toxic thought wants to enter your mind, take hold of the Word and speak truth into that lie. It’s in that authentic, transparent exchange that you will begin to experience who Jesus is and how the promises of His Word give you life.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take what you discover and hold it up to the Light to evaluate it against who God says you are.
- How would you define an orphaned heart?
- Would you say you have an orphaned heart in areas of your life?
- Do you ever find yourself yearning for deeper companionship?
- How would you define deeper companionship?
- If you can identify areas that you feel you may have an orphaned heart, what temporary “fix” are you using that helps you avoid facing where the pain is coming from? (Plastering a smile on your face when you’re feeling broken is the same type of attempt to self-medicate.)
- What is your temporary fix taking the place of? (ie a hug/kiss, kind word, affirmation etc.)
Use God’s word to take control over traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts, take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises found in His word.
Print, then cut and carry this Scripture with you and/or post it in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is what God’s word says to encourage you and to give you an example of His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:
“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” Hebrews 4:12 (NLT)
When you read God’s word say to yourself: Reading the word of God has the power in it to cut away all that is fake and false. It allows me to see the true attitudes and intentions of my heart as well as those around me.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
