“But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.”” -Isaiah 43:1 (NIV)
I find myself in a position that is filled with fear. I don’t mean I’m afraid something bad is going to happen to me. I’m fearful because, since my husband’s death, it’s slowly creeping into my realization that I have to redefine myself. I’m moving from a “we” world to an “I” world. I’m moving from a couple’s social calendar to a single’s social calendar. I haven’t lived with the single status for 34 years.
My new reality is that I no longer fit in with other couples. My singleness is a better fit for time with the wives of couples or expanding my single women friendships.
I am not in a rush. In all honesty, my husband’s death becomes more real with each passing day. From the letters where his voting rights have been removed to the ones where he has changed people’s lives with his LifeNet donation gifts to the restaurants we frequented where they ask about him when they don’t see him with me … my evolving reality still has shades of shock in it.
I don’t look forward to moving on. But time has not stopped, and I don’t really have a choice. Things keep moving forward around me. A combination of admitting my status along with the fact that time waits on no one causes me to face my condition. Yet, even now, I don’t want my reality to be my truth.
I typically like change, but that was when I had a comfortable, familiar footing on which I lived my life. I knew what to expect and how my husband would respond to any given situation. Change by itself is intimidating, but—from a relationship standpoint—I’m definitely out of my comfort zone.
I’m fearful in that I have a lot of decisions to make, and I’m not sure if I’m doing this the best possible way.
What if I make a bad decision? I don’t like mistakes. What if I throw things away (as in waste things)? I don’t like wasting anything.
When I was growing up, you never wanted anything to be your fault. If it was, my siblings and I knew this would incite my mom’s violent temper and things would get physical. Even though my mom no longer has that power over me and I’ve never experienced that type of abuse since then, I still find myself fighting those same thought patterns.
Life is a challenge. People can be cruel, and everything around us is always in a state of change. Why hasn’t a good God made things easier on His creation? After all, I’m one of His children. I’ve chosen to love Him in return. I’ve asked Him to live in my heart and make me new. Shouldn’t that ensure that I have very little trouble?
What if Christ didn’t come to take away every bad thing that exists? What if He came to hold your hand through the tough times and walk with you when people are cruel or when your future is turned upside down?
The reality of this life is that evil exists. But the God of the Holy Bible is the One who isn’t afraid of evil. God knows Satan uses bad thoughts to cripple us because he’s a destroyer. Satan does this through suffering. If he can’t destroy us through our thoughts, he’ll strive to destroy our relationship with God.
God is coaching us from the finish line back. Satan has already been defeated. When Jesus Christ died, was buried, and then rose victorious, the battle was won. Prior to that there was no way for us to reach God. Jesus became the gate that we walk through for full access to God again.
With Christ, we have Someone who is not only willing to hold our hand when everyone else walks out, but He’s also the only One who has the power to make a difference in what we’re going through. He has the power and the authority to redeem us no matter what.
Something I’m trying to do every time I feel overwhelmed with fear is to ask myself what I’m most afraid of. What is my biggest fear in this situation? I answer it, and I look to see what the Bible has to say about it, if anything, specifically. I talk to God about what exactly I’m fearful of and then I rest in Him. I’m learning to override my emotions with His truth.
God is the One who looks past the lies and sees the truth, not only in me but in my circumstance. His wisdom is unmatched. He knows the game plan, and He’s more than willing to share His knowledge with His daughters. It’s not like He doesn’t know our hearts and what we’re fearful of. He wants to hear His daughter speak to Him, share herself with Him, and lean into His heart for her.
Talk to your heavenly Daddy today. Share yourself with Him. He’s the diary who will never share a single secret. He’s the best friend whose advice cannot be matched. And He’s the Daddy who loves you no matter what, with every drop of blood He has.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take what you discover and hold it up to the Light to evaluate it against who God says you are.
- Are you fearful about different areas of your life (or something specific)?
- What is the biggest fear (in each area of your life) that you struggle with?
- What do you think will happen to you as a person should your biggest fear come to fruition?
- Do you believe God is someone you can rest your fear on?
- How much of your fear is based on your emotions?
- Are you believing your emotions over the truths of God?
Use God’s word to take control over traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts, take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises found in His word.
Print, then cut and carry this Scripture with you and/or post it in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is what God’s word says to encourage you and to give you an example of His unfailing, relentless, unending love for you:
“But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.”—Isaiah 43:1
Read God’s word and say to yourself: God has spoken for me, given me His name and calls me His own. He has his hand and His eye on me. When I receive Christ as my savior, I’m sealed and marked as His child. Fear no longer has any power over me. I will choose to believe God’s claim on my life, and I will not entertain the fear that Satan wants to constantly plant in my mind and heart. Satan is a liar and has no authority or claim on me.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
