“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)
When it comes to love, every human heart has the desire to be known, appreciated, valued. Yet it is becoming standard practice to be physically intimate before knowing who we can trust with our hearts. We grant access to the most intimate parts of our bodies, not realizing the heart longs for a much deeper intimacy.
We were created for love and relationship—not just any sexual attention or kind word thrown in our direction. It merely takes a bit of skin to arouse the instinct of sexual desire. The heart is not concerned with those things but craves the staying power of authentic love.
Authentic love is sacrificial. It seeks to fully know and understand the other person. It’s an investment of time asking for nothing in return. It’s a process of discovering what makes this person unique. Does he value me? Will he take the time to listen to me? Does he respect (another word for love) me?
Authentic love strives to put the other first rather than being the one in control. It chooses peace over who is right and who is wrong. Authentic love requires genuine heart-invested levels of patience, kindness, and perseverance.
As desperate as the human heart is to find these qualities, it simultaneously knows it has pre-determined deal breakers that cripple its ability to be fully known. A rare heart, if any, fully reveals its true self for fear of being completely known and inevitably rejected.
To be completely known and yet completely accepted is to be completely forgiven. Christ is the only One capable of loving like that. He is not ignorant of what we’ve done or can do, but His unwavering, unconditional love is His strength. It is the reason He can embrace our past without hesitation.
Aside from the struggles of the flesh versus the heart, the most important aspect of sex is that it’s sacred. Life is sacred because we bear the image of God. Therefore, the act of sex is sacred because it results in human life.
When you’re ready for something more than allowing your body to be a playground for those who are still on an elementary school level of discovery, it’s time to look into the eyes of the One who says, “You are sacred to Me.” He has revealed His love for you with His blood, sweat, and tears … with His life … on the cross.
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
These questions are in no way a substitute for healthcare professionals or any level of professional counseling. I’m an advocate for taking care of oneself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. These questions reflect my heart, NOT my profession.
This questionnaire is an opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. It can serve as a launching pad on which to evaluate your heart condition as you understand it. My hope is that you will take what you discover and hold it up to the Light to evaluate it against who God says you are.
- Have you ever purposely withheld something about yourself because you were afraid you’d be judged/rejected?
- Do you feel there is wisdom in withholding information? Is so, under what conditions should you withhold things about yourself?
- Define sex.
- Define love.
- Do you think sex is the same as love? What would it mean to you if – someone who knew everything about you—all of your past and all the things you hide—yet still calls you His beloved?
Use God’s word to take control over traumas in your life. Whenever you feel terrorized by your thoughts, take them captive by replacing them with the truth of God’s promises found in His word.
Print, then cut and carry this Scripture with you and/or post it in places where you will see it often. Ground yourself in God’s truths not Satan’s attacks. Encourage your heart and mind every time you are reminded of His great love for YOU!
Here is how God defines love. This is the love He has for you:
Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
Read God’s word and remind yourself: Even when people cannot love me this way, Father God perfectly loves the imperfect.
Something extra I’d love to see you do would be to take the verse above and everywhere you see the word love, replace it with God. He is the Origin of love so this verse is describing the God who knows and loves you!
Now LIVE LOVED and THRIVE!
